Online dating and social media has been a game changer to the way we make connections. Not only does it make finding a potential partner a lot easier, but more frequent as well. It’s pretty easy to get caught up in a revolving door of hookups and almost-relationships when you have so many options readily available, but is it healthy in the long run? Not really, especially since you only end up single again in the end. Sometimes it’s best to take a time-out from the endless sea of options for a while.
The absence of love makes the heart grow fonder of love. The same way absence can make you grow fonder of a person, the same theory can be applied to love and relationships in general. When you go without being in a relationship or without dating at all, you’re completely free to find a new perspective of love from the outside looking in. The longer you’re without love and a relationship, the more you’ll actually appreciate it once you’re finally ready to be in the thick of it again.
You need to know who you are without a relationship. You can claim to know yourself even when you’re in a relationship, and maybe that’s true in some cases, but not always. If you’ve never truly gone more than a month or two without someone in your life, chances are, you don’t truly know who you are deep down — unless you met the love of your life young, which is pretty rare nowadays. Being truly alone gives you more time and clarity to truly root yourself to who you’re supposed to be, and you might never know your full potential or what you’re meant for if you never take a healthy timeout for yourself.
You need proper time to zone in on what you want without influence. When you’re without love, a relationship, or a slew of online dating profiles giving you the attention you crave, you’ll start to see the outside world, other couples, and relationships overall a lot differently. You’ll start to notice the little token details about a relationship that people in the relationship often fail to appreciate — things like the way a guy pulls out his girlfriend’s chair at a restaurant or the way a girlfriend rests her arm on his leg each time she sits next to him. The outside view gives a whole new perspective on what’s happening on the surface of a relationship, and it’ll make you appreciate all of those little details even more when you’re truly ready to experience it again.
Being a silent observer will make you smarter about how you choose partners. Let’s face it — sometimes going from one person to another makes you make some pretty terrible choices in the people you choose to date. You stop digging at the roots to find someone truly compatible with you and are instead on a constant search for a high of attraction and a quest for the spark that fades out as quickly as it ignites. It’s like an adrenaline rush. If you take some time away from the addiction of the process, you’ll find that you’ll start to see people through a new lens. You’ll look at the bigger picture and seek true compatibility rather than constantly trying to hit that quick fix high.
Embracing the loneliness will make you stronger. Loneliness might seem like a hard emotion to conquer and it’s definitely challenging at times, but no more challenging than what it takes to make a relationship work — and you’ve been pretty crappy at nailing that one down so far, right? Why not refocus your energy on conquering a new pathway and brave the road of loneliness with open arms? Sure, you might have some tough days and nights along the way, but you’ll become infinitely stronger for it in the end. That makes for a better foundation in the partner you hope to be to someone forever someday.
Being single and not looking for love is an experience you may never get again. You may have been single for stretches in the past, but if you’ve never taken a real timeout to experience the joys of being an adult without a committed partnership and you’re continuously having bad luck in love, a season of singleness is probably exactly what you need. As much as you might doubt it, being single as an adult has some seriously noteworthy perks. The world is your oyster and you can do whatever, whenever, with no one else to consider but yourself. You can hop on a plane to anywhere, eat whatever foods you want, and live out the dreams you never thought possible. Take advantage of the time you have while you have it because it could be the last time ever that you’ll have an opportunity like this once you find your person.
The dating world isn’t going anywhere. Your sea of options will still be there at the end of your season, so don’t worry that you could be missing out on your “perfect person” because the perfect person you’re searching for is YOU. You just need to give yourself a chance to truly find her and let her thrive.
You’ll realize there’s far more to life than just love. Your season of singleness could go on for a few months or a few years. It’s different for everyone, but the more you embrace it and enjoy the time knowing and loving yourself, the better you’ll be in the long run. You’ll become consumed with the other fruits that life has to offer, such as travel, world culture, career, connections that aren’t romantic partners and it’ll make you realize how much more life has to offer. Most importantly, you’ll have a newfound appreciation and new outlook on love.
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