Spring Cleaning: It’s Time To Get All The Players & Frenemies Out Of Your Life

Spring Cleaning: It’s Time To Get All The Players & Frenemies Out Of Your Life ©iStock/lechatnoir

Admit it — you probably have a few people you’ve let linger in your life because you like the attention and yes, sometimes the drama. But all the players that never treat you right and the frenemies you don’t even like spending time with are just cluttering up your life. Now’s as good a time as any to face the truth — you’re better off without them.

  1. Your time is valuable. There is only so much time in the day, so why waste it dealing with people who don’t have your best interests at heart and are only causing you stress? It might seem like bad friends are better than no friends at all, but you’re probably better off focusing on yourself and trying to meet new people than clinging to people who aren’t good for you.
  2. They’re making you look bad. People make wildly inaccurate judgments about others every single day, and a lot of that is based on the people you choose to surround yourself with. If you let a guy treat you badly, it’s safe to assume you probably have low self esteem. If you are the type of girl who tolerates frenemies, you’re probably high maintenance and love drama. These things might not be true, but people are still going to think them.
  3. Hoarding people isn’t healthy. Keeping players and frenemies around is the equivalent of holding onto clothes that have gone out of style or don’t fit anymore ‘just in case.’ Sure, they could come in handy at some point, but probably not. It’s time to trim the fat and just focus on the people that actually add something positive to your life.
  4. Negativity affects you in unexpected ways. Stress has more than emotional and psychological effects — it can also cause physical problems. Being around people who make you anxious, or cause you to rage out in ways you never thought possible could actually be making your physically sick. It could be skin problems, or headaches, or problems sleeping, but whatever it is, it’s not something you have to put up with.
  5. They distract you from the right people. If you’re so busy interpreting everything a player does and says (which is pointless by the way, because none of it means anything), you’re probably too mentally exhausted to put any work into getting to know a guy that might actually be good for you.
  6. You aren’t obligated to keep anyone in your life. Just because you’ve been “friends” since you were toddlers doesn’t mean you’re stuck with each other for the rest of your lives. People grow up, they change and they grow apart. Some people aren’t meant to be there until the bitter end, and that’s OK.
  7. It’s your own fault if you let people treat you like a doormat. Do you think that player would keep knocking on your door if you shut him down the first time he treated you like garbage? Would your work frenemy keep talking behind your back if you stood up for yourself once in a while? Probably not. If you want to be treated with respect, sometimes you have to earn it, and that means showing some backbone.
  8. They’re only bringing you down. The negativity, the mind games, the lies. Is all of that really worth what little of value you’re actually getting out of these relationships? If navigating your interactions with these people leaves you tired and frustrated more often than not, it’s time to move on.
  9. Quality is more important than quantity. Some people see making connections as a numbers game. The more friends they have, the more likes they’ll get on their selfies. The more guys they give their phone number to, the better their chances of having a date on Saturday night. But healthy relationships take effort and if you’re spreading yourself too thin, you’ll never be able to develop anything deeper than acquaintances.
  10. Life is too short to spend it with the wrong people. Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, are a huge part of being human. Everyone is unique and special in their own way and that inevitably means that you aren’t going to mesh with everyone you meet. The good news is, you don’t have to. Focus your energy on building a few relationships that matter instead of clinging on to people who do nothing but make your life miserable.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.