What’s So Bad About Stage Five Clingers? In Fact, I Wish I Could Find One

If you’ve been in the dating game for a while, you’ve probably come across the dreaded stage five clinger somewhere along the way. I’m talking about the guy who constantly calls and texts you and always wants to see you; the guy who can’t go one day without talking to you and that most women hate to date. Frankly, I don’t think they’re all that bad and I actually wish I could find one. Here’s why.

You know where you stand. 

They clearly like you, otherwise why would they always be wanting to speak to you and know what’s going on? Some might find the influx of communication annoying, but at least it makes their feelings kind of obvious. If the guy didn’t like you, he wouldn’t waste their time trying to contact you. Think about it!

The chase is overrated anyway. 

Some women love the chase. They love to meet a new guy and spend time pursuing him even though they have no idea if he likes them back. In fact, these women are happy not to know—this is what makes the chase so thrilling! But it can also be exhausting, especially if it turns out that their feelings are only one-sided. There’s no chase when it comes to stage five clingers—you get to skip that step. Sounds good to me.

That kind of honesty is refreshing. 

After being screwed around by various jerks in the past, it actually makes a nice change to have a guy in your life who’s so happy to be talking to you and getting to know you. Plus, what gal wouldn’t welcome being treated with respect? Oh yeah, the gals who actively chase the toxic douchebags and then get screwed over. No, thank you! I’ll stick with the stage five clingers.

There’s no second-guessing involved. 

Where is he? Who’s he out with? Why hasn’t he texted me back for six days? You don’t have to ask these questions with a stage five clinger. This is because you always know the answers. Some might call it boring, but I call it being well-informed and in control of the situation. Winning.

Communication is important in a relationship

Let’s say that you’re happy dating your stage five clinger and it looks like it could turn into a serious relationship. One of the top causes of arguments in relationships is poor or lack of communication. With a clinger, you’re eliminating these arguments before they’ve even happened. You’re essentially laying a good foundation upon which to build a happy and successful relationship. Now, doesn’t that sound good?

I’d rather a guy be more into me than the other way around, frankly. 

No one wants to be that person in a couple who likes the other person way more than they’re liked! We’ve all been there and it sucks. It sucks bad. Me, personally? I’d rather the other person make it obvious to me that he likes me. Then I never have to wonder.

There are no surprises. 

In a good way! Gone are the days where your guy goes MIA and then you find out he’s dating this random gal Susan on social media. Damn you, Susan. If you have a stage five clinger, it’s undeniable that his focus is on you and you alone.

You get to be the center of attention. 

If his focus is on you then you’re also the center of his attention—and come on, who doesn’t love being the center of their guy’s attention? I’m totally cool with a stage five clinger showering me with compliments and affection. And I love it that their eyes don’t wander. They’re clearly into me and that’s what you want in a potential boyfriend, not some schmuck who’s just going to mess you around and play the field.

Playing games is for children. 

No woman gal deserves to have her emotions played with. Everything’s so straight-forward and simple with a stage five clinger. It honestly does make life easier!

You have to consider the alternative. 

Question time: would you rather have a guy who’s openly into you or an emotionally unavailable loser who’s a closed book? I know which one I’d prefer! Stage five clingers, come at me.

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