Are Your Standards Too Low? If You Like Him Just Because He Does These Things, The Answer Is Yes

When you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship or major crush, it feels like the guy you’re into can do no wrong. Being blinded by your emotions can lead to falling hard for someone based on qualities that aren’t really as big of a deal as they might seem to be. If you adore the object of your affection just because he does these things, your standards need an upgrade:

  1. He texts you “good morning.” This little act is definitely cute, and it definitely shows thoughtfulness. But way too many women put it on a pedestal as THE sweetest thing a guy can do, and it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s nice to date a guy who sends you those two little words as soon as he wakes up, but if that’s the most thoughtful thing he does for you, it’s time to raise the bar a bit.
  2. He has pet names for you. When a guy calls you “babe” or “hon”, it’s like an innocent way of calling you his. It’s an endearing part of a relationship if you’re into it, but it shouldn’t be enough to make you go crazy for him. Guys know that this is a small way of “marking their territory”, and lots of them will do it to make you feel more closely bonded to them whether or not you’re in a relationship. Any random dude at a bar can call you “sweetheart”, so don’t take this as a sign that he’s the perfect guy for you.
  3. He pays for you on dates. No one in their right mind will complain about someone else spending money so they don’t have to, but just because a guy is generous with his cash doesn’t mean he’s generous with his love. In fact, you should be wary of a guy who insists on paying your way every single time — it might mean that he’s trying to make you feel like you “owe” him.
  4. He doesn’t cheat on you. Getting overly excited because a guy is faithful to you is like freaking out because your house has a roof. Fawning over either a guy or a home just because your basic needs are met is more than a little ridiculous. When you’ve dated multiple cheaters, finding a guy who stays faithful might seem like a miracle, but in reality, he’s just fulfilling one of the most basic requirements of a decent boyfriend.
  5. He’s hot. Nobody will fault you for falling a little harder for an attractive guy more easily than you might fall for an ugly guy, but a great set of abs or a dazzling smile shouldn’t be enough to make your heart do somersaults. Lusting over a cute guy is normal, but make sure you’re not confusing those more shallow feelings for something more powerful.
  6. He buys you gifts. Some people do show their love through gift-giving, but pay attention to the KINDS of gifts he’s giving you. A guy who couldn’t resist picking up a pair of Batman socks for you after you revealed your love for superheroes is different from a guy who buys expensive earrings for you all the time even though you don’t really wear jewelry. It really is the thought that counts here, and it’s the thought that should determine whether or not his generous habits are enough to make you go crazy for him.
  7. He compliments you. Any guy can call you beautiful. If you really want to know if this guy is the kind you should spend your life with, ask yourself if he SHOWS you what he really thinks of you. The right man will definitely tell you why you mean so much to him, but he’ll also back up what he says with actions. Don’t let anyone stay in your life if he treats you like crap, but softens the blow with pretty words.
  8. He’s good in bed. You don’t have to convince me that it’s a magical thing to find a guy who rocks your world when you guys have sex. It sometimes seems like a miracle when you find someone who really knows what he’s doing in the sack, so it’s understandable that you’d be tempted to stick around solely because of that. But if that’s the only way he’s satisfying you, then keep your emotions at bay. You can see if he’d be open to being hookup buddies without jumping into a serious relationship with him.
  9. He acts “nice.” If being nice is all you need to qualify a man as your Prince Charming, I can assure you that you’ll find plenty of guys out there who could fill the role. Being nice is truly the most basic quality you could ask for in anyone you choose to interact with, so when it comes to picking someone you could potentially fall in love with, you need to aim higher.
  10. He impresses your family. Depending on how much your family members’ opinions matter to you, their impression of your boyfriend may or may not be a dealbreaker. It certainly makes things easier on everyone when your partner and your family get along, but ultimately, it’s his relationship with YOU that truly matters. Any misgivings you have about him shouldn’t be erased just because your parents adore him, and your love for him shouldn’t stem solely from the fact that he’s the only guy your brother has ever approved of.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.