I’ve done it, my friends have done it and it doesn’t help anyone. You might not even realize you’re staying in your relationship because you’re scared to be single, but it’s better to know sooner rather than later.
- You’re annoyed with your partner more than they make you happy. This should be an obvious sign you’re unhappy in your relationship, but all relationships go through highs and lows. The problem really happens when you’re constantly irritated by your partner and it’s hard to remember what it was you loved about them in the first place.
- It’s easier for you to complain about your partner than to compliment them. Can you give your partner 10 compliments off the top of your head? If you can’t, this could be a sign you’re not in love with them but in love with the idea of them. If this is the person you really see a future with, you should be able to list at least 10 things you love about them. If you can’t and you’re OK with that, you might just be scared to be single.
- You dream of all the things you’d do if your partner wasn’t in the equation. Relationships are all about give and take and often that means making sacrifices or doing things you don’t really want to do for your partner’s sake. Be careful if you find yourself daydreaming about all the things you’d do if you only had to think about yourself. If that dream is so divorced from your reality, maybe you’re missing out on the life you wish you had. Don’t let being single scare you off living the life you really want for yourself.
- The thought of being single scares you but has nothing to do with missing your partner. The scariest thing about being single if you’re in a relationship should be that you’re not with your S.O. anymore. If you’re more scared about being on your own and worried about who would take care of mundane things like organizing your taxes, finding an apartment, and having to come home to an empty house regardless of who the company is, it’s a bad sign you’re scared to be single.
- You worry about what other people would think if you split. The only people you should be concerned with if you split is you and your partner. You’re the only two people that matter in this equation and you shouldn’t be comparing your life journey to your friends’. You might feel pressured to stay in your relationship because all of your friends are settling down and have put their dating days behind them. I know I’ve certainly felt that way in the past. I stayed in a relationship because I didn’t want to be on my own and once it finally ended, my only regret was that I didn’t get out sooner.
- You can’t see a way forward out of an argument but do nothing about it. All couples have arguments, but when it comes to a fight about something you know you can’t live with and they won’t budge on their side of the argument, you shouldn’t stay with that person out of fear. You might find a way forward at some point, but if you can’t, there’s no point in complaining about it. You have to take action.
- You’re constantly trying to mold your partner into the person you want. You can’t change someone. It’s literally impossible. People do change but it’s because they want to do so, not because someone else has asked them to. For example, if he’s not very romantic, he’ll always be not very romantic. He’ll hopefully make more of an effort with romance if you talk it through and he knows how important it is to you, but it’ll never be something that comes naturally to him.
- The thought of dating again shakes you to your very core. Even in good and healthy relationships, the thought of dating again can sound absolutely terrible. But the emphasis should be on the fact that you’ll never be able to find someone else that measures up to your partner, otherwise, what are you even doing?
- You’re uncomfortable with your own company. This is a really important life skill to master. Being comfortable with your own company means being able to spend time by yourself, not talking on social media, not feeling lonely, and actually enjoying being by yourself. I’m an only child so I grew up without any siblings and I think this actually helped me to hone this skill quickly from a young age. Luckily, I’ve never felt lonely in my own company. In fact, I often crave it, but that could also be down to the fact that I’m an introvert and need alone time to recharge. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a super extrovert and finds it very hard to be totally alone and not lonely. Thankfully, it’s my company he craves and not just somebody or anybody.