If He’s In His 30s & Still Playing Games, Don’t Even Try To Date Him

One of the best parts about growing up is that after a while, everyone’s tired of the dumb dating games and tests that accompanied so many relationships when you were young and immature. If you’re dating a guy who’s 30 and still in no rush to define what you’re doing, trust me, it’s only going to get worse from here.

  1. Grown adults don’t try to make you jealous. If you see him checking out other girls and then saying he’s “so happy to be with you,” just know that this is all intentional. It’s his way of saying that you’re more or less on thin ice. Do you really want to be with someone who tries to make you think that he could dump you for the waitress? Or, do you want to be with someone who’s engaged with the conversation he’s having with you the entire time? The choice is pretty obvious here.
  2. If he’s 30 and still into mind games, he probably hasn’t had a serious relationship in a long time. He’s playing with the same dating rules he played with back when he was in college—and chances are, he hasn’t figured out they aren’t working very well. How embarrassing for him.
  3. If he delays texts just to keep him waiting, find someone who values your time. It’s important to know that people text at different speeds. When someone’s at work, you can’t expect them to get back to you ASAP. But if you know he’s free and he keeps refusing to answer time-sensitive texts about plans, he’s just playing games.
  4. He probably doesn’t have a great career. Know why? Since part of getting promoted within a career involves networking, it means he’s a team player and dependable. This guy is showing you who he is if he’s still immature in his dating life. If he’s successful at work and still tries to play games with you, he’s straight-up being a jerk.
  5. Guys past 30 should know what they want. They should have a pretty good idea on whether or not they want to get married and what they want in a partner. In other words, they should be able to tell right off the bat whether or not they think things will work out with you. If a guy waffles between dates and texts, just consider yourself the runner-up in his dating life and just cut him off.
  6. Only a shady guy in his 3os would avoid your questions or give vague answers. If you ask him if he’s free and he says “maybe,” it means he is, but he’ll probably ditch you when a better plan comes along. By now, you should know that the right guy will make time for you. Can you imagine telling your future kids that you had to beg their father to go out with you? That’s the exact opposite of a love story.
  7. He’s old enough to be someone’s father. Think about that for a second—he’s acting like a high-schooler when, depending on his exact age, he could be fathering a high-schooler. Is this someone you really think would be a good partner?
  8. You’re at a stage where you need to believe his true colors. If he tries to get your attention by pretending to be a jerk, just consider him a jerk. If he says he’s not sure if he’s ready for a relationship yet, delete his number. Guys don’t change at 30, nor will you be the one who changes him. If you have that fairytale in your head, that kind of thinking will lead to a lot of future heartaches.
  9. You need to teach him that his tactics will lead him nowhere. If he genuinely likes you but feels like the best way to show you is by getting jealous of your exes he never met or giving you the silent treatment after a minor argument, you’re setting him up to think that this is the way women should be treated. Cut him off now for your own sanity, but also as a way for him to learn that games and drama won’t get him the girl.
  10. At this point, you literally don’t have time for this. Seriously, think about it. You’re an adult yourself and you have a ton of responsibilities. Don’t be the girl who gets into a text fight with her loser boyfriend every day. You should respect yourself a lot more than that.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.