Stop Analyzing His Texts — You’re Just Wasting Your Time And Freaking Yourself Out

We’ve all experienced the dread of the vague text message. Sometimes our slight paranoia is warranted, like if he sends a simple “k” instead of the lengthy response you’re used to. However, most of the time, we really are just being paranoid. If you’re feeling panicked because he only included two emojis in his last message instead of his typical three, read this and calm TF down:

  1. What he’s saying is probably exactly what he means. The thing about decoding a guy’s text messages is that there really isn’t much to decode. If we spent less trying to figure out “what he’s saying” and more time focusing on what he’s actually saying, you might find yourself not having to read as many of these articles. Take everything he says at face value and know that if something is wrong, he’ll tell you. I mean, do you really want to date a guy who you’re always second-guessing what he says anyway?
  2. He’s not typing as much as you because guys generally just have less to say. Only very occasionally will a guy write out his feelings for you in a text message the size of a short novel. Just because he’s not rambling on the same way you are, doesn’t mean he’s less interested. It could benefit you to talk to him more like a boyfriend and less like someone in your girl squad.
  3. Emojis or a lack thereof don’t mean as much as you think. A text filled with heart-eyes doesn’t mean any more than a text that has none. While they’re a cute, funny way to talk to your boo, they’re not a solid insight into how your guy is feeling. Maybe he’s too rushed to find the hidden burrito emoji or maybe he has a damn Andriod. Either way, it’s not a big deal.
  4. Worrying about a text is a big waste of time. You could spend hours, days even, analyzing and discussing exactly what he meant by, “Can we reschedule for tomorrow? It’s my dad’s birthday dinner tonight.” Rest assured, it probably is his dad’s birthday dinner and he didn’t make the whole thing up so he could go to a strip club. Settle down and find something more productive to do with your time.
  5. Your girlfriends won’t know any better than you. For the love of all that is holy, please stop screenshotting his texts and hosting a decoding session in your group chats. Unless he sent you a message that verbally states something is wrong and you need advice on how to respond without sounding desperate, then don’t. All you’re going to do is create a bigger problem in your head when there was probably never a real problem at all.
  6. Remember that if he IS losing interest, you’re still a queen. So he was hitting you up like crazy and the past few days his texts have died down. It could mean that he’s just really busy, or yeah, it could mean the big, scary thing you’re trying not to freak out about: he’s no longer into you. But so what? If he is losing interest than he’s losing out on you and that sounds like more of his problem than yours.
  7. Don’t do anything drastic to get things “back on track.” It’s easy for desperate moves to sound logical when we’re feeling really desperate. But no matter how much you like this guy, the best thing you can do for yourself is to not do anything. Wait until your emotions die down or he makes the next move before you try to save what you think might be about to fall apart. You’ll never be able to stop something that’s meant to be. If it is ending then it’s because it’s not worth saving.
  8. Don’t stalk his social media for a sign. Again, if you’re feeling like you’re about to lose him, it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to track is ever move. Don’t. The last thing you want to do is turn this situation (and this guy) into your whole life. As hard as it might be, focus on something else, even if it’s just bingeing on a Netflix show or walking around Target with your mom. Do whatever you can do to keep yourself from putting all your focus on him. You’ll be better off no matter what happens.
  9. If you can’t get over the feeling that something is off, then ask him if something is off. You gotta trust your gut, and if it’s telling you that his behavior just isn’t what it normally is, then say something. You don’t have time to play games with him and wait around hoping that he’s going to be the first one to speak up and fix everything. Take control and get to the bottom of what’s going on so you can move forward with your life; whether it’s with or without him.
  10. Remember that no matter how much he’s texting you, you’re still a queen. And don’t ever let yourself forget it.
Emily is a writer, dog mom, and occasional narcissist living in what her mom refers to as “a bubble.” Geographically speaking, it’s more like Daytona Beach, Florida. A graduate of the University of Central Florida, she is a community editor for a local newspaper and spends most of her time trying to convince her dog to cuddle.