It’d be nice if toxic men came with a label that says “Danger! Please avoid.” Unfortunately, they don’t, which means it’s up to us to spot and get rid of them before they latch onto our lives and cause serious damage to our mental and physical wellbeing. Tired of attracting or entertaining liars, players, losers, and other unworthy men? Here’s what you can do turn them away from you?
- Be militant about setting and maintaining boundaries. Toxic men are experts at getting you to compromise your standards. They’ll keep crossing boundaries and pushing your limits to see how much they can get away with. The best way to repel them is to establish strong boundaries and guidelines for your interactions and relationships. The moment a guy does something you’ve agreed not to tolerate, set him straight or cut him off. No excuses.
- Stop putting yourself down. Most people accept the love they think they deserve, which means they tend to attract men who mirror the way they see themselves. Toxic guys usually go for women they think are easy prey. If you think you’re not worthy of a great guy, other people can probably sense that too. Build up your confidence. Try being more assertive. Carry yourself with self-assurance and toxic men won’t even bother playing their tricks with you.
- Ditch the nice girl act. If you’re the kind of woman who’s just naturally nice to everyone, toxic men are going to be drawn to you because of that. They’ll want to take advantage of your loving and kind nature. So you need to tone down the niceness. Stop being understanding and accommodating of every guy and his excesses. If a guy texts you, ghosts, then reappears out of the blue like nothing happened, block him.
- Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Toxic men love playing victim, Nothing is ever their fault. They’d rather blame their childhood experiences and other people’s actions for their behavior rather than going to therapy to resolve their issues. No one has the right to treat you badly no matter what they’ve been or are going through. I’m not saying there’s no room for compassion. Just stop justifying bad behavior. Demand the respect, love, and care that you deserve and don’t settle for less than that.
- Be the source of your joy. Don’t be the woman who pins all her hopes, dreams, and happiness on a relationship. No one can make you truly happy unless you can create happiness for yourself. As long as you keep waiting for validation from others, or for them to love and accept you, you’ll find that only men who are bad for you keep catching the vibe you’re putting out.
- Resist the urge to fix broken men. You’re not a rehabilitation center for badly behaved men. And unless you’re a licensed therapist being paid to provide solutions to his issues, you should not be taking it upon yourself to fix a man. Toxic men are attracted to selfless saviors. They love women who will waste time trying to fix them while they stand there and do nothing. He’s a grown man. Let him deal with his own problems. If he wants to stay broken, let him.
- Always prioritize yourself. All toxic men care about is themselves. Many of them are selfish narcissists so they tend to go for women who give in easily. Women who are willing to put other people’s needs ahead of their personal needs. Women who will take the blame for their failings and let them do whatever they want, whenever they want. When you put yourself first and focus on meeting your needs before anyone else’s, toxic guys won’t be able to put up with you. They’d rather be with a woman they can easily manipulate.
- Choose confrontation rather than silence. If you’re the kind of person who hates conflict and would rather slice your wrist with a knife than have an argument with anyone, it’s time to change that. Toxic men love women they can push over because when they cross the line, you’ll be too scared or nervous to call them out. This trait is not going to serve you well. Grow some courage. Stand your ground and stop letting people push you around.
- Learn to embrace being alone. A lot of people think that being alone is the worst thing that could happen. But being with the wrong person or someone who drains you mentally and emotionally is way worse. You’re better off being single than dating a man who doesn’t respect you, care about you, or love you in a healthy way. If you stop desperately chasing after a relationship and start getting comfortable with being single, you’ll repel toxic guys better.