It’s Time To Stop Believing These 11 Myths About “The One”

It seems like everyone is searching for their forever person, and you might be too. But make sure you don’t believe these crazy soulmate myths — they’re just holding you back. After all, “The One” isn’t perfect and you don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.

  1. Love is meant to be… or not. Ever expressed frustration at not finding someone worth dating and being told that when you find your soulmate, your relationship will be based on destiny, as though it’s predetermined and you have no say in it? Rightly so. Believing that your love is either written in the stars or not, the latter due to cruel gods, can make you feel helpless about love, and you really shouldn’t. A large part of finding it or not is within your control.
  2. Your soulmate will just click with you. Yeah, you might feel an instant connection with them, but you might not. Don’t write off the opportunity of the latter blooming into awesome love.
  3. You will share the same interests. You might imagine that you and your soulmate will do all the same hobbies and have the same interests. Um, probably not. They’re not going to be your clone, and why would you want them to be? Having your own unique identity is important.
  4. You’ll never argue. Why? Because you’re so exactly alike! Funnily enough, being very similar to your partner can cause you to argue and butt heads, but even if you’re not the same type of people, you’ll argue. It happens, but that’s not always a bad thing. Fighting fair can be healthy.
  5. It’ll be smooth sailing all the way. Wrong! You’re not going to have a guaranteed easy life by finding your soulmate. You’re going to go through the hardships of life no matter who you end up with. You just have to find the right person who will adjust your sails and be as committed as you are to the relationship as you work your way through the storms life throws your way.
  6. It will “just happen.” You might think that your perfect person will turn up on your doorstep, but that’s probably not going to happen unless he’s the mailman or something. The truth is that you’ll have to get out there to try to meet people in order to find the right partner.
  7. You’ll want all the same things. It’s a good thing to find someone who’s on a similar life path as you, otherwise, that could definitely cause problems along the way, like if they want to go live somewhere remote and you’re all about city life. But you don’t have to want all the same things, and you’re never going to find someone who wants all the things you want anyway. That’s boring.
  8. Your partner is never going to piss you off. If you’re creating a life with this person, they’re going to piss you off from time to time. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean that you no longer love them, though. It just means you’re human. That’s the important thing to remember about soulmates — you’re not brought together by some crazy magic (well, not completely). You’re two people getting together and creating magic through hard work and commitment. And hopefully having a whole lot of fun in the process too.
  9. Your soulmate will be of the same gender. You might know that you’re definitely 100% attracted to guys or other women and you don’t see yourself switching teams. But who knows what could happen? There are lots of stories of people who thought they would end up with one gender and really ended up finding real love with someone else. It happens. There are no rules when it comes to love.
  10. Your soulmate will complete you. If your soulmate completes you, he or she’s not your soulmate because you’re getting with a toxic person. You don’t need to be fixed and your life doesn’t need to be made complete by your forever person. You and your partner should be complete, whole, and happy before you get together if your relationship is going to work.
  11. You’ll know without actually knowing. “You’ll just know!” That’s what people say when you ask them about how you’ll know you’ve found the right person. That’s fine and well, but… Actually it’s unrealistic. Your brain and heart should be on the same page when it comes to choosing The One, otherwise, you’re not taking the full situation into account. Follow your heart, sure, but make sure your head isn’t giving you “WTF?” signals.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.