Stop Caring About The Guy Who Doesn’t Care About You

Even when he’s treating you like you’re nothing, it can still be hard to break away from a guy you’re really into. Whether he’s just a crush or you’ve been in a committed relationship with him for the past few years, sometimes your heart is just so wrapped around him that you keep trying to make things work even when he doesn’t seem to care if you’re around or not. But no matter how much you adore him, this is why you need to force yourself to break the emotional ties that bond you to the guy who doesn’t actually care about you or your happiness:

  1. It’s a waste of energy. When you invest everything in a guy who doesn’t invest anything in you, you’re basically throwing all your kindness and care down the drain. It’s one thing when the object of your affection is reciprocating those feelings, but if this dude isn’t, he isn’t worth all the nights you’re staying up thinking about him.
  2. It won’t make him change his mind. It doesn’t matter what you say or how often you say it ù if he doesn’t care about you now, it’s not going to change any time soon. Even if you’re giving your all, he’s unlikely to wake up one day and realize what he’s letting go. Sometimes we think that if we just try a little harder or care a little more, it’ll make all the difference, but the reality is you’re almost always better off doing the opposite when it comes to men like this.
  3. Leave your heart open for someone more worthy. How are you ever going to find someone who treats you like gold if you’re still focused on the guy who doesn’t seem to care that you exist? Everything you’re putting into this dead-end dude could be better spent on someone way more special, but you’ll never be able to give him a chance if you keep concentrating all your energy on the guy who treats you like you’re disposable.
  4. You’re just hurting yourself. Nothing good can come out of this. When you keep investing so much into a person who can’t be bothered to treat you like a human being, you’re just asking for a world of heartache. I know it’s hard to tear yourself away, but you need to start trying if you ever want to get back to being your normal, happy self.
  5. You’re going to look back and wonder why you cared so much. I totally get why you care about this guy so much right now, but once you make up your mind to get over him, it’s going to put you on the path to wondering why you thought he was such a big deal in the first place. And that’s exactly where you want to be. Try to envision yourself a few years down the road, cuddled up on the couch with a guy who adores everything about you, and it’ll be a lot easier to see why you should kick this dude out of your heart and mind.
  6. The longer you hold on, the worse it’s going to get. You’ve already put so much effort into trying to make this guy care about you, which is one reason why it’s so hard to let go. It’s going to be tough to move on now, but it’s going to get even harder with each passing day. The sooner you start trying to let him go, the faster you’re going to be able to get on with your life.
  7. He’s not even that great. How do I know? Well, what could be so awesome about a guy who doesn’t care about you? When we really like someone, we unfortunately tend look past their flaws and focus on their (honestly not-that-impressive) good qualities. But really, there are so many better guys out there who are better than this one, and you’ll see it once you try to force yourself to stop caring about him.
  8. If you’re not on his mind, he shouldn’t be on yours. It’s easier said than done, but it’s absolutely worth the effort to get him out of your head. Whether or not he knows it, you’re treating him like a priority when he’s treating you like an option, and that’s simply not fair to you. Don’t give this dude your everything in hopes that he’ll reciprocate, because he’s already shown that he won’t.
  9. You gave him a fair chance already. You’ve already put this guy way up high on your list of priorities. He knows that he had an opportunity to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and he wasted it. You’ve already done your part, and now that he’s neglected to make the same effort for you, it’s time to move on and focus on giving yourself the love he wouldn’t give you.
  10. You know your standards are higher than this. You’ve always promised yourself that you’d never settle for someone who treated you like this, and yet, here you are. It’s hard to see just how bad things are when you’re on the inside of a situation like this, but if you could take a step back and give yourself advice, you know deep down that you’d tell yourself that you deserve better than what this dude is giving you.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.