How To Stop A Fight From Turning Into A Full Blown Breakup

How To Stop A Fight From Turning Into A Full Blown Breakup ©iStock/ABedov

Your first fight isn’t meant to lead to a breakup. In fact, if you two learn how to talk to each other, then you’ll be able to work out any problems you have instead of letting them destroy your relationship. It doesn’t matter if you have a bad temper or have trouble expressing your feelings, because anyone can learn how to stop a fight from turning into a full blown breakup.

  1. Come to compromises. Don’t focus on winning the argument. When one of you comes out victorious, the other will end up bitter. That’s why you need to find some common ground and come to a compromise instead of letting one person win the entire battle. That way, you’ll both go to bed happy.
  2. Don’t call names. It’s tempting to call your man lazy when he refuses to mow the lawn. However, name calling isn’t going to get you anywhere. You need to point out the problem and try to fix it instead of tossing around insults that will only make him angrier. Your end goal should be to solve your problem, not to hurt your partner’s feelings.
  3. Stay on topic. Don’t bring up the things he did wrong three years ago. You should be over those mistakes by now. If you can’t move past them, then your relationship is never going to last. The past should stay in the past.
  4. Give each other a chance to talk. Don’t yell at your partner for contacting his ex before getting the full story from him. Give him a chance to talk, so that he can explain why he did what he did. That way, you won’t end up in a huge argument over a simple misunderstanding.
  5. Don’t put words in his mouth. If he insults you in front of his friends, don’t say, “You tried to make a fool out of me.” Instead, you should say, “I felt like a fool when you made fun of me.” That way, you’re focusing on your feelings instead of accusing him of purposely being mean to you. You’ll get the same point across without causing him to blow up.
  6. Have the conversation when you’re calm. You’re never going to solve your issues when you’re angry. If you can’t think of anything to say to your man that doesn’t involve cursing him out, take a walk and continue your conversation when you get back. The angrier you are during a fight, the higher your chances are of breaking up.
  7. Never let it get physical. It doesn’t matter if you’re weaker than your man. You shouldn’t hit him, scratch him, or key his car when you get angry at him. If he causes those intense emotions, then you two probably shouldn’t be together in the first place.
  8. Apologize when you’re wrong. If you yell at your man about watching The Walking Dead without you, and then find out that he actually didn’t watch ahead, then apologize. It only takes two seconds to do, but your partner will appreciate it.
  9. Talk in private. Don’t make a scene in public. Even though you and your partner will forget about the silly fights you had in the past, your family won’t forget them. Unless you want them to end up hating your boyfriend, you should always talk in private.
  10. Have make up sex. The argument isn’t fully over until you two kiss and make up. Any leftover anger you have will fully disappear as soon as you experience an intense orgasm.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.