Falling in love is such an incredible thing that you might be tempted to spend every waking moment (and lots of the sleeping ones) with your new love. However, it’s important that you don’t forget about your first and most important love: yourself! Carving out me-time is integral to any person’s happiness and in the long-run, it’s vital to the health of your relationship too.
- There’s no such thing as your “other half.” It can be easy to slip into thinking that your partner is the person that completes you. Even the way we talk about relationships supports this idea. But girl, you’re complete as you are! No man (or woman) should (or can) make you whole, and if a relationship isn’t made up of two complete individuals, you’ve got yourself a one-way ticket to codependency.
- Remember, you’re a strong, independent woman! Sure, you love your partner, you love their company, you love your life together. But outside of the relationship, you’re still a badass lady. Keeping hold of yourself as an individual is such an important skill and for many of us, it’s one that requires practice. Make time to be alone and learn to enjoy your own company – you’re the one you’ve got to spend your life with after all!
- Having your own friends is so important. If you feel like some company, it can be tempting to turn to your beloved for companionship, but remember how nourishing it is to have your own friends too. Having a solid support network outside of your relationship helps when challenges arise. It’s also just nice to have your own friends to keep a sense of individuality from your partner.
- Let some things remain a mystery. If your boyfriend or girlfriend knows your every movement because you’re constantly together, it becomes hard to maintain any mystery in the relationship. We tend to be drawn to the things we can’t completely grasp and fostering a rich private life is not only good for you, it’s good for the relationship. Let your partner wonder a little from time to time, as well as allowing yourself to wonder about him.
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The old adage is true. Spending time apart allows you to miss each other and that’s fuel to the fire of passion when it comes to a relationship. Having individual experiences is a great way to bring excitement into a relationship – you have the chance to share new things with each other, recount interesting experiences, and teach each other new-found skills.
- It’s easy to take each other for granted. When you’re around each other all the time, it’s so easy to take each other for granted. If you find yourself getting stuck going through the motions, it might be time to remember your (and your partner’s) individuality. Taking time out for yourself is a good reminder that time together is something you choose, not something you just do. When you’re more aware of how you spend your time, whether it be together or apart, you’re more likely to appreciate yourselves, as well as each other.
- This is especially important if you live together. If you’re anything like me, living together slowly tempts you into the rut of complacency. This goes for the relationship, as well as time alone. If you’re living with your partner, it’s especially vital to carve out some good old-fashioned me-time. Take yourself out on a date, ask your partner to spend the night at a friend’s place, go on a little solo vacation – whatever it takes to make sure you’re getting time to yourself every once in a while!
- Don’t lose yourself in your relationship. This is a phenomenon that so many women experience, including me. When you’re single you have this unbelievably strong sense of self. You have great, interesting hobbies, a rich social life, well-formed opinions. Then you meet some hottie and the next thing you know, you’ve lost your edge and are all too willing to change your life to suit what he wants (or your idea of what he wants). Sound familiar? If you’re cringing in recognition right now, go take yourself out for a coffee, read your favorite book, get back into an old hobby or go hang with your besties. Don’t forget who you are in the midst of your relationship!
- Some things are more fun alone! It’s cool to share new experiences with your partner – that’s one of the most wonderful things about relationships – but there are some things that are more fun alone. You don’t have to compromise on that! If there’s something you love to do by yourself, speak to your partner about it. Chances are, they have similar things in their life. Encouraging each other to invest in your personal lives is the sign of a healthy relationship. You’re not the same person so you don’t have to live identical lives!
- It’s for the greater good. If you’re worried about how spending time alone might affect your relationship, there’s good news. Making time to be with yourself will, invariably, make you a happier, more well-rounded individual, and who doesn’t want to be dating a happy, well-rounded individual? Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you have so investing in me-time is, by extension, investing in all your other connections. Rest assured that your partner will thank you for it in the long-run!
