Stop Looking For “The One” & Discover Yourself—Your Life Will Improve Dramatically

There’s no shame in wanting to find “The One” and start a new chapter in your life, but sometimes being your own soulmate is more fulfilling than finding one. Instead of trying to be his perfect match, be your own perfect match. Your life will be amazing in these 11 ways.

  1. You start truly living. Think of all that time that goes to dating. That’s a lot of Saturday nights you’ll never get back. Think of the stuff you could’ve been doing to enrich your life instead of worrying if the guy who was on a date with you would ghost you next week. Such unnecessary drama!
  2. You stop stressing so much. Imagine if someone came up to you and said they could see the future and you weren’t ever going to find your dream guy. It might seem scary and disappointing at first but after a few days, you’d probably feel relieved. Now you can forget about finding “The One” because it’s not going to happen so you can concentrate on more important things that bring you joy. Why not do that anyway, right now, even if your perfect partner turns up in a few months?
  3. You realize you can give yourself everything. Yeah, it’s nice to have someone to snuggle up with, but there are honestly loads of things you can give to yourself and for which you don’t need a partner. Think about it. Do you need a partner to go to a wedding? No. You can go by yourself or rock out with your best friend. Do you need a partner to be happy? Hell no. Do you need a partner to make you feel loved? Again, no!
  4. You feel the love. Love the person in the mirror. It’s easy to think that you need to search for someone to love, but honestly that someone is you. Yeah, everyone wants to be loved and love someone else, but what about loving yourself? When you do that, you enrich yourself so much. Remember, you’re really the only one you’ve got 100%, day and night, all the time. Don’t throw yourself on the back burner because you think you need someone else to be your person.
  5. You see no limits. Instead of thinking a certain part of your life will come alive when the right person enters your life, start living that life right now. Treat yourself with love and romance. Buy yourself flowers just because. Take yourself to dinner. Spoil yourself with delicious chocolate mousse. Buy yourself a stunning piece of jewelry. Why not?
  6. You stop thinking in terms of life deadlines. It’s normal to think that by a certain time in your life, you need to have a boyfriend, a husband, kids, and so on. But who made those rules? You don’t need them. When you stop thinking in those terms, you open yourself up to living right now for today.
  7. You know yourself so much more. When you stop searching for love from a romantic partner and show yourself some love instead, you can really learn fascinating things about yourself. Listen to your thoughts and feelings. They’ll pave the way for you to live the best life you can because you’ll be focusing on what you really want and where you want to go.
  8. You feel full and fuzzy. You know that feeling of warmth you get when you fall in love? Well, you can experience that just by taking the time to get to know and love yourself. By learning more about yourself, you’ll find your inner peace and strength, which will make you feel more centered and complete than ever before.
  9. You complete yourself. Remember that famous (and creepy) line, “You complete me?” Well, searching for someone to complete you is BS simply because you can complete yourself. That’s the power you’ll discover when you decide that you’re “The One” you never knew you had or needed.
  10. You realize you don’t need a life partner. What you really need is a life, and you’re fully capable of having an amazing one without someone by your side.
  11. You get higher standards. When you realize that you’re your own soulmate, everything changes. You stop wasting your time on the wrong men and stop feeling like crap for not having someone in your life. Best of all, you get more standards because you realize your self-worth, which means you won’t put yourself in stupid dating situations where you don’t get the love you deserve. See, when you’re filled with love you’ve given yourself, you realize you don’t depend on love from others. This means that when you do find love that you want in your life, it’s just a bonus but not the center of your world. Which is just how it should be.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.