Stop Playing Games — If You Have Feelings For Him, Let Him Know

There’s so much conflicting advice out there regarding how to get and keep a guy’s attention — no wonder so many of us are confused (not to mention misguided). You might think it’s better to be subtle about your feelings for him so as not to freak him out or scare him off, but that’s BS. Guys aren’t mind readers and if you like someone, you need to buck up the courage and tell him outright. Here’s why:

  1. Guys aren’t always as sensitive to subtle romantic queues. Help a brother out! If he really is oblivious, he literally might have no idea that all of your low-key flirting moves are actually flirty and you won’t be on his radar as a potential romantic partner. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to give it a shot, but you won’t know until you actually tell him how you’re feeling.
  2. You don’t want to be the kind of person that lets life just happen to you. You need to go out there and go after what you want. As with anything worth having, a great relationship isn’t just going to be dropped in your lap — you need to be proactive about it.
  3. When you’re bold, you free him up to be. When you’re open and upfront from the very beginning with a guy, you set the tone for a no-BS, high-stakes romance. Plus, you let him know you’re all about direct communication and he’s way more likely to feel comfortable offering the same in return.
  4. Confidence and boldness are attractive AF. And if he doesn’t value those things in a woman, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Better to find out now than later! While this shouldn’t be your motivation for being so straightforward, it’s certainly a welcome side effect.
  5. You don’t have time for gamesYou’re a grown woman with so many better things to spend your time and attention on than dating games. When you stop playing them, you attract men that are serious about a long-term, committed relationship. Isn’t that the whole point?
  6. Maybe he actually HAS noticed your subtle cues and just isn’t into youAgain, better to find out now than later. He might be sending subtle signals right back to you that he’s not interested and you’re missing them. Finding out early will save you a lot of heartache and wasted time. While you might feel disappointed, you’ll at least be free to move on to someone who’ll actually reciprocate your feelings.
  7. If you DO have a future with him, too much subtlety sets a terrible tone for the relationship. Being passive aggressive or expecting a guy to read your mind is not only ridiculous, it’s laying the groundwork for a really unhealthy relationship that will ultimately fail. Give things a chance for success by ensuring you’re on the same page about how you feel and what you expect. Otherwise, you’re sure to be disappointed.
  8. The competition out there is fierce. That’s not to say you should view your love life like an episode of The Bachelor, but it’s important to be realistic about love. Men and women who want to share their lives with someone go out there and make it happen. They don’t get complacent and half-ass things, thinking if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen with minimal effort. They don’t settle, but they also don’t let good guys go because they’re holding onto romantic (and childish) notions about Prince Charming or the perfect love story.
  9. You’ve been there, done that and it never works. You already know the ins and outs of waiting for someone to notice you and it’s a tired routine. You’re ready to be bold and try something different. What’s the worst that can happen if you tell him you’re into him? He says he’s not? Fair enough. Wouldn’t it be better to hear that directly rather than driving yourself crazy wondering when he’ll take the hint?
  10. Life’s too short. Too short to wait on others to make a move, too short to be afraid, and way too freaking short to spend your days pining after a guy that may turn out to be a racist with an Ed Hardy t-shirt collection. Hard pass. Take life by the horns and go after what and who you want. If it doesn’t work out, at least you know you tried.