Stop Putting Yourself Down — The Terrible Things You Tell Yourself Aren’t True

Stop Putting Yourself Down — The Terrible Things You Tell Yourself Aren’t True

You might think being self-deprecating is another way of being humble. But saying negative things about yourself is actually pretty off-putting. It might come across like you’re fishing for compliments, or you actually just straight up don’t like yourself. Neither one of those things makes you look very good. If someone pays you a genuine compliment, be gracious and say thank you. We all have flaws, but there’s no reason to point them all out in an attempt to beat the bully to the punch. If you keep saying awful things about yourself (even in a joking way), people are going to start wondering if they might be true.

  1. “I’m so fat.” We all feel like this sometimes, but saying it out loud is the worst way to deal with it. If it’s something that really bothers you, then figure out what you can do about it. If you’re just saying it so people will assure you that you aren’t fat, well you aren’t being as subtle as you think.
  2. “That guy is so out of my league.” Again, we all feel this way sometimes. But you’re really just making assumptions based on his appearance. Just because he’s attractive, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t like you. So give him a chance— you never know what could happen.
  3. “I’ll never look like a model.” So what? 99% of the population will never look like a typical model, so you’re certainly not abnormal. You should embrace what makes you different and unique, because that’s what makes you interesting.
  4. “I’m never going to be good enough.” Well not with that attitude, you aren’t. Whether it’s a job you really want or a guy you really like, you aren’t going to get anywhere if you don’t believe you can. Confidence is half the battle.
  5. “I’m a failure.” No one succeeds the first time they try something new every time. Just because you make a mistake here and there, or you don’t accomplish a goal in the time frame you gave yourself, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Look at all the things you have accomplished, and stop being so hard on yourself.
  6. “No one will ever want me.” Even if you haven’t had much luck in the dating department lately, that doesn’t mean it will always be like that. You just have to meet the right person, and unfortunately, sometimes that isn’t something you can control. All you can do is keep your chin up and be willing to meet new people. The rest will follow.
  7. “I’m such a slut.” Slut-shaming isn’t always something that is projected outwards. We do it to ourselves all the time, and it’s just as damaging, if not more so. If you make the choice to have sex someone, why feel bad about it? You wouldn’t appreciate it if someone else called you a slut, so why are you calling yourself one?
  8. “I’m so poor.” Okay, so maybe sometimes this feels very true. But what’s the point in saying it out loud? Is it helping? Didn’t think so. Instead of whining about your money problems, do something about them. Figure out a budget, look for some extra work, anything to give yourself a sense of control. Besides, you if still have a roof over your head and you can feed yourself, that is far from poor.
  9. “You’re so much prettier than me.” You’re giving someone a compliment, and that’s great, but where does it say that when giving a compliment you must simultaneously put yourself down? You obviously don’t think much of yourself, therefore that compliment doesn’t really end up being much of a compliment at all.
  10. “I’m an idiot.” We all do dumb things sometimes, but just because you made a mistake does not mean you yourself are dumb. Calling yourself names is only going to make you feel worse. Cut yourself a little slack and remember that one mistake does not an idiot make.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo