Stop Saying You Wish You Were A Lesbian — Dating Women Isn’t Any Easier

It’s not uncommon to hear women who are sick and tired of dealing with the endless onslaught of infuriating male behavior saying they’re “going to switch to girls.” While you might think that’s the ultimate way to convey how fed up you are with trying to date men, it actually makes you sound stupid.

It’s an insult to lesbians.

You might think it’s a compliment to say you want to be just like your favorite lesbian (because they are all like Ellen Page or Cara Delevingne, right?), but in reality you’re making it seem like being a lesbian is a choice you can make — and an easy one, at that. Logically, you know that’s not true, so why make light of something as complicated as sexuality?

Being a lesbian has its struggles, too.

That fact that you never have to deal with men in a romantic sense aside, there are a lot of things all LGBT people go through that are far from easy. They have to struggle with coming out, hoping their family and friends will accept them and the reality that inequality is still a huge issue. Who you choose to date should be simple, but for LGBT people that’s not always the case.

Girls can be just as infuriating.

You’re a girl, and you probably have friends that are girls, so you know first hand that being female comes with it own set of hang ups. Guys may be insensitive sometimes, but girls can be too sensitive. If you’ve ever spent an evening helping a friend overanalyze the last four texts she received from her ex, you know how exhausting girls can be sometimes.

Relationships are hard no matter which gender you’re dating.

What makes you think being in a serious relationship with a girl would be any different from being in one with a guy? Sure, the specific challenges you face with a woman might not be the same, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be any easier.

It’s a free country.

If you want to date girls, you’re free to do so. So if you genuinely want to date women, why not experiment and see if maybe you are a lesbian or at least bisexual? If that’s completely out of the question for you because you know without a doubt that you’re straight, then why even bother suggesting you’d be happy with it any other way?

You’re implying lesbians have it easy.

By saying you wish you were a lesbian during those moments you’re past your breaking point with men, you’re implying that the grass would be greener on the other side of the sexuality spectrum. The reality is, lesbians probably have it harder in a lot of ways.

It’s a cop out.

Blaming a part of yourself that you can’t control (your sexuality) for your bad luck with dating is just another way to avoid taking responsibility. Yes, guys are the worst sometimes, but you’re certainly not perfect either.

You’re feeding the stereotypes.

The men are from Mars women are from Venus theory is outdated and narrow-minded. Of course men and women see things differently sometimes, but so do human beings in general. Connecting with another person is hard regardless of gender, and assuming all men are the same is a dangerous generalization.

A person’s gender doesn’t make them inherently “more date-able”.

Women aren’t necessarily “better” at dating and being in relationships. They can still ghost you, or cheat on you, or send you one-word texts on a regular basis. If you think about it, it’s probably dating you’re sick of, not just men.

It means nothing.

People who say they “wish they were lesbians” are saying it in an off-hand, I know this will never happen kind of a way. They’re confident it’s a wish that will never come true, so they feel comfortable throwing it around like some kind of statement about how over dating men they happen to be in that moment.

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