Stop Saying You’re “Forever Alone”—You’re Just Sabotaging Yourself

I’m tired of hearing my single friends constantly complain about how much they hate being single and how desperately they want to find love, yet in the same breath they’re claiming that they’re “forever alone.” Y’all, this thought process isn’t alluring, nor is it conducive to inviting love into your life. If your goal is to attract the love of your life, you have to stop sabotaging yourself with this atrocious phrase.

  1. A Negative Mind Won’t Lead To A Positive Outcome. Even if you don’t believe that the visualization of dreams can bring them into reality, you must at least agree with the statement that negativity alone isn’t going to produce a better outcome. There’s so much power in our words and our statements, whether we write it down or vocalize it to a friend. Start believing that love is within reach and see what happens.
  2. Expectations Are The Nasty Roots Of Disappointment. You might often feel like a hopeless romantic in a world full of losers, players, and toxic guys, but don’t lose hope. Being single isn’t the worst position you can be in, so stop treating it that way and enjoy life where you are by ditching any expectations you have about where you should be.
  3. Cut Yourself Some Slack. Life and love are all about balance. Maybe the reason you haven’t found anyone is that you’re too hard on yourself. Nobody’s perfect so you can’t expect to be, nor can you expect that from your partner. If you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to fit the mold of whatever social norm you’re after, it’s only going to stress you out and put you further from the goal.
  4. You’re A Great Catch. Just because the “right guy” hasn’t noticed yet, don’t forget all of the quirky, cute, and interesting attributes that make you who you are. Whatever sets your heart on fire, keep doing it.  You’ve got your act together in more ways than you give yourself credit for, and any guy would be lucky to have the added bonus of you in his life.
  5. You’re Worthy Of Love. If you don’t truly feel worthy of love, you might unknowingly be pushing the possibility of falling in love away by putting up walls or making excuses as to why a relationship wouldn’t work. It’s important to know that you’re worthy of authentic romantic love. Once you accept that for yourself, you’ll be emotionally adept enough to keep an unreserved mind and an open heart. I believe it’s true what they say—you’ll likely stumble upon love when you least expect it.
  6. Stop Chasing What’s Not For You. We’ve all been through it at least once in our dating lives. You’ve chased after that guy that you’re magnetically drawn to, but as soon as you get too close, something falls apart. It’s confusing when there’s not a larger reason for something not working out, but enough of those little red flags and the relationship feels forced and wrong. So why are you still chasing what you need to set free? That act alone can be holding you back from letting your future “forever” into your life.
  7. You’re Really Not “Forever Alone.” Moping around about not having a significant other isn’t changing your circumstance. What are you doing to put yourself out there? We live in a time of swipe dating and Emoji responses, so you can’t even play the “shy” card because there’s an option for every excuse. Go. On. Dates. You might not meet “The One” immediately, but if you remain open to meeting others, at least you’ll always have some company. Hey, if a romantic relationship never presents itself to you, at least you’ll make some friendships along the way!
  8. Be Proactive About What You Want. I’m all about the power of positive thinking, but I realize that can be easier said than done for some. Start small and make a list of things you want or don’t want in a future mate. If you’re a vision board type of girl, simply throw the word “love” on there. This will help you to stop sabotaging your thoughts into negativity and will bring your focus into a positive, intentional place.
  9. Quit Feeling Sorry For Yourself. Sometimes it’s easier to complain about what we don’t have, but is that helping your situation? The “aha!” moment happens when you realize that love will only happen when it’s meant to, and not a second sooner. Love might not be transpiring in the time frame you’d like, but that doesn’t disqualify you from finding your match in the future. So hang tight, and crash your personal pity party before it ruins your mood—and your dating life.
  10. Don’t Let Failed Love Jade Your Future. The trigger for this “forever alone” mentality typically stems from a sense of failure from a past relationship. Just because you were in a relationship with someone unequivocally wrong for you doesn’t mean that you’re always going to fail moving forward. Leave the past where it belongs and start looking forward with confidence.
Mix 1 part momma + 1 part writer + 1 part hairstylist. Add the love of laughter, adventure, and caffeine. Blend well with a passion for country music and hockey. Sprinkle with sass, and that's me.