Stop Trying So Hard To Find A Guy — Your Entire Life Will Change If You Can Just Let Go

Has anyone ever told you that you’re trying too hard when it comes to men and dating? Maybe it’s time to stop putting in so much effort — it might be the best thing you ever do both for your dating life and your sanity. Here are 13 great things that are up for grabs if you just stop bending over backward for guys:

1. You enjoy the ride. It’s easy to get caught up in the process of getting the guy, but hold on. Happiness is in the journey, so let your hair down and have a bit of fun. You’ll also get to enjoy the early stages of dating, which are a lot of fun, instead of getting caught up in making things official.
2. You give him a chance to show he cares. If you’re the one initiating everything with the guy, you’re not letting him pull his weight. This means you don’t actually know if he’s fighting for you as much as you are for him. Step back and pay attention so you can truly figure him out. The right guy won’t make you jump through hoops.
3. You don’t come across as having an ulterior motive. If you’re trying so hard to impress him, he might wonder what your M.O. is. Are you just trying to get what you want or are you being genuine? A bit of self-reflection will come in handy.
4. You let things reveal themselves. You might want to steer situations your way, but you should let them be what they are — only then will you see what they’re really about. You also save your energy. It takes a lot to force things to happen and it’s just not worth it.
5. You see people for who they are. A person who tries too hard in relationships might be someone who tries to change their partner. No one can be “fixed” unless they want to be, and if so, they’ll fix themselves. By letting people’s real colors show instead of trying to paint them into things you want, you can accept them for who they are or reject them, which will save you time you might have wasted with them.
6. You chill out. Trying hard in dating means that you’re stressed out. Nothing good can come of that. When you’re chilled, then you can have fun, enjoy yourself, and learn things about yourself because anxiety and stress aren’t taking over.
7. You know that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay. It might be scary to think that you’re in a relationship and it could end, leaving you alone again. But so what? Who says that’s really such a bad thing? If you can stop for a minute and realize that you’ll be okay no matter what happens, you’ll always win — and you’ll see that you don’t actually have to try so hard because things will work out the way they’re meant to.
8. You don’t wait for bad things to happen. If you’re trying so hard to make things work out, you’re controlling them and worried that they’ll not turn out the way you want. You’re expecting bad stuff to happen, which totally makes you miss out on the great stuff that’s happening right in front of your eyes.
9. You stop being so damn available. If you’re keen to make things happen with a guy, you might always be available to him when he wants to see you or chat via text. Stop making such an effort! It can make the wrong men take advantage of you. By backing off a little, you don’t come across as desperate.
10. You know your own boundaries. If you remember your boundaries and stop bending over backward for a guy, this gives you self-worth and self-respect. These two things are the gold standards of dating (and life in general).
11. You don’t let stress cloud who you are. When you’re stressed out, you’re not yourself. You’re hiding the gems of your personality from the people you meet. If you relax and go with the flow, you’re showing them all the great things about you. This also means that people can like and fall for the real you, not some fake version.
12. You get the blessings you didn’t plan for. Life doesn’t always work out the way you planned. But if you can take your hands off the steering wheel every now and then and enjoy what happens, you get to make the most of the blessings that surprise you. So maybe things didn’t work out with that cute guy from work. So what? By saving yourself the time and energy involved in making things happen with him, you can enjoy a better life, no guy required.
13. You live the life of your dreams. You can’t control things, but you can control yourself. Take the focus off meeting the perfect guy and concentrate on living your best, happiest life. That way, when the right guy for you does come along, he’ll enrich your life instead of becoming the sole reason for your happiness.