Stop Waiting For Guys To Make The First Move & Do It Yourself

Welcome to the 21st century, where it’s okay to make the first move. Traditionally, men were the ones to go after the women, while we waited around for them to kick-start the relationship. We waited for them to approach us, waited for them to ask us out, and waited for them to lean in for the kiss. Nobody likes waiting around, and who says women can’t be the ones to initiate conversation, buy a guy a drink, or ask someone for their number? Many guys would actually appreciate it. There’s absolutely no shame in being the one to make the first move — just look at it as taking control of your own fate.

  1. It means you know what you want. It shows you’re not the type of girl to sit around and wait for things to come to you. It says a lot about you when you can recognize a good thing when you see it. At this point, you’ve probably dated enough people to know exactly what you’re looking for. And why would you sit there and let him get away? After all, who doesn’t like a girl who knows what she wants, and more importantly, goes after it?
  2. It’s sexy. There’s something about a girl making the first move that guys just can’t resist. Try it and you’ll see for yourself.
  3. You could be doing yourself (and the guy) a favor. Not all guys are going to make the first move. Just because he hasn’t come over to say hello doesn’t mean he’s not interested. You could be missing out on a perfectly good guy if you don’t make the first move — and he could be missing out on a great girl, too. Do both of you a favor and make the first move.
  4. It shows confidence. Men aren’t looking to repair anyone’s ego or take away anyone’s insecurities. When you approach a guy first, you’re likely a confident girl who doesn’t need someone else to make her whole. You’re likely a girl who is fulfilled on her own and because of that you have a lot to offer in a relationship. And isn’t that what every guy is looking for?
  5. It’s empowering. It’s the 21st century — we can ask men out on dates, we can be the one to initiate the first kiss, and buy a guy a drink. We don’t need to sit around waiting for guys to make all the moves. It feels great to be able to go after what we want and not have to wait around for a man to dictate our destiny.
  6. Guys like to be courted too. It must get exhausting for men to always have to be the ones to build up the courage to ask a girl out. I doubt they enjoy always having to be the one to buy the girl a drink. And they probably stress over when it’s okay to go in for the kiss. Guys want to know when someone is interested in them too. And it’s probably refreshing when you go after them instead of waiting for them to do all the work.
  7. It’s bold. Making the first move shows you’re not afraid of taking risks. It positions you as a courageous, fearless, badass woman. Bold women don’t take a seat on the sidelines and wait for opportunities to come to them. They go out and seek these opportunities. And there’s definitely no shame in that!
  8. Men hate rejection just as much as we do. Women aren’t the only ones afraid of rejection. How many men like being turned down? Not a whole lot. This could be stopping them from making the first move. If you think they’re interested, and you know you are, save them the anxiety and ask them out yourself.
  9. It’s better than waiting around. We complain about a guy not making the first move all the time. He’s not asking us out no matter how many hints we drop, he hasn’t kissed us yet and it’s already date three, he keeps looking at us at the bar but won’t come over and say hi. We have two choices- we can keep waiting (and complaining) or we can do something about it.
  10. What’s the worst that can happen? Absolute worst case scenario, the guy doesn’t want to dance, doesn’t call you, or doesn’t want to go out on a date. Big deal!
Suzanne is a twenty something living in Toronto, Canada. When she doesn't have her professional pants on from 9-5, she is getting lost in a good book, a yoga class, or a tall glass of wine.
She has a severe case of the travel bug, a serious love affair with food and will never say no to puppy-sitting.