Breaking up with someone is never easy, but we always try to soften the blow a little bit by finding the “right time” and the “right way” to deliver the bad news. We think if we can find the perfect time, the break up will go smoother than if we just blurted it out over dinner one night. And while it certainly can’t hurt to make sure you have time to talk, and are in a private place when you break up with someone, the result is still the same. They’ve been dumped. Dragging out the inevitable isn’t helping either one of you, so if you’ve made your decision, it’s time to suck it up and give it to them straight.
- You’re wasting your time. If you’ve already made your decision, then what are you waiting for? Is it more appealing to stay in this relationship that’s clearly going nowhere for another six months? Didn’t think so.
- You’re wasting their time. If you aren’t committed to the relationship anymore, you’re just stringing them along. If he’s looking to settle down and be with someone for the long haul, you need to let him go so he can find someone who will feel the same way about him as he feels about them.
- No matter what, it’s not going to be easy. Even if you technically do everything right, dumping someone still isn’t an easy thing to do. All you can do is have enough respect for him to let him know where you stand, and then let him go.
- It’s better to rip the band-aid off. Dragging it out doesn’t make it hurt any less. Chances are, he knows something is off, and hinting at a possible break up isn’t the same as just doing it. It might suck at first, but it’s better in the long run.
- The stress is affecting other areas of your life. If you think you want to break up, but haven’t found a way to say it yet, you’re probably spending all your free time obsessing about it. Instead of going through every scenario in your head, just talk to him and deal with the one scenario that actually matters— the one that happens.
- There’s no such thing as the “right time”. There’s no right time to get dumped. It sucks no matter what. Sure, there’s obvious things like don’t dump him at his grandfather’s funeral, but other than that, timing shouldn’t matter that much.
- You could be using this time to get over him. It’s not really fair to get over him while you’re still together and he has no idea you’re slowly drifting away. It’s the equivalent of waiting to break up with him until you find someone to replace him— would you like if he did that to you?
- Things aren’t going to change. Maybe you think if you wait a couple weeks or months, things will get better. But if you never talk to him or let him know he’s “on probation” he’s just going to continue with business as usual. The only way something might change is if you tell him why you’re unhappy. Then maybe you can work things out together.
- They’ll appreciate if you’re honest with them. No one likes being lied to. If he’s a decent guy, he wants you to be happy too, and if you aren’t happy with him, he’ll understand that breaking up is for the best.
- You might do something you regret. If you’re no longer in the relationship mentally, then it might logically seem OK to act like you’re single. But you aren’t. Until you let the other person know the relationship is over, anything you do will be considered cheating.
