I Stopped Checking My Exes’ Social Media And My Life Is Changed

I know I’m not the only one with the terrible habit of creeping on my exes on social media. It’s just a morbid curiosity many of us seem to have, but I’ve realized how unhealthy it is for me so I’ve tried hard to stop doing it. The benefits of stopping my stalking in its tracks have been enormous.

  1. I used to compulsively check my exes’ social media accounts. I would do it regularly—maybe not daily but definitely once or twice a week. I would get a high entering their name into the search bar, then watch my spirits fall as I saw them living their lives happily without me. It felt like I couldn’t control myself; it really felt like a compulsion.
  2. It was like torturing myself. I felt like total crap whenever I creeped. It was like torture; I knew it was bad for me but I couldn’t stop doing it. I just kept consistently inflicting pain on myself, and for what? To feed some strange self-sabotaging desire? To beat myself up? It was a horrible cycle to be stuck in.
  3. I only found stuff that made me upset. I pretty much never went to my exes’ social media pages and got happy. In fact, almost invariably I ended up feeling really upset. I’d just be reminded that I’m not in their life anymore helping them enjoy things. I’d see them all living these amazing lives that I was no longer a part of and it’d hurt my fragile feelings. You’d think that because this is the way it was affecting me that I’d stop doing it, but it wasn’t so easy.
  4. I would compare myself to their current partners. The biggest thing was that if they had a new partner, I’d creep all over that person too. I’d obsessively look at my exes’ social media profiles and compare myself. How do I measure up? Who’s prettier, more successful, and happier? It was really crazy, to be honest.
  5. Thankfully, I have completely stopped doing it. As it was ruining my happiness, I’ve finally completely stopped creeping on those exes. I haven’t done it in about six months now. Holy crap! That’s a really long time for me. I’ve done it by just making a rule: absolutely no creeping on exes at all. No clicking on their profiles, no searching for them, nada. Since this rule has been in place for me, I’ve been successful.
  6. Blocking people who reach out to me is helpful. Blocking an ex is one way to not engage with them. Once in a while, someone will reach out to me and I don’t message back. I block that sucker right then and there. This hasn’t been an easy thing for me to do. I want to respond, I just know it’s not good for me so I cut them off.
  7. I’m not friends with any of them. I don’t follow anyone on Instagram and I’m certainly not friends with any exes on Facebook. They’re not a part of my social media circle. Sometimes I’ll even block them if they start to follow me. I know that sounds hardcore, but I have to be. Some people can manage friendships with their exes. When I try, feelings just get hurt and it ends up being messy. It’s really not worth it.
  8. I feel like I’m missing them less. Once in a while I’ll miss an ex and wonder how they are. This is natural and it’s probably never going to go away. However, I find myself thinking about them a whole lot less when I’m not creeping all up in their stuff. They just cross my mind far less and this is a gift. I don’t want to be thinking about and missing my exes!
  9. My peace of mind is better. I’m just happier without this habit. When I’m creeping on them, my head is swirling with projections and thoughts. I’m always worrying and it’s unnecessary. When I’m not creeping on them, I’m a little better able to let feelings pass through me without making a big deal of them. I’m just a little more at peace because I’m not fretting so much about what they’re doing.
  10. It’s a hard habit to break. I think it’s really easy to say, “Oh, I’ll just peek really quick. No harm in just looking once.” It’s been important for me to say absolutely no looking because it’s a slippery slope. Once I look at one, I’m onto their girlfriend then another ex. For me, the only way to get away from this was to go cold turkey.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.