I was at a place in my life where I was ready for something more serious and the guys that I was going out with were definitely NOT keepers. I realized I was dating immature boys and not real men. These are the questions I asked myself to finally land the man of my dreams.
If my time is the most important thing in my life, then why was I wasting it on men who were blowing smoke? I figured if a man lied to me about something small and insignificant then he would lie about big things for sure! That’s something that I wanted to avoid at all costs. If a guy covers things up or seems shady, I have to just let him go. It’s not worth the stress.
Did I really want to spend the rest of my life stroking his fragile ego? Confidence is a great tell-tale sign of a good man. If he sits around and constantly puts other guys down or won’t shut up about how much better he is, that’s a red flag. A man who’s confident in himself won’t feel the need to do that because he’s secure in himself as-is.
I’m a hard-working, independent woman, so why should I settle for a man with no ambition? It says a lot about a man’s character when he’s got goals and is willing to work hard towards achieving them. I don’t want a couch potato that I’ll have to end up supporting just because he’s lazy! If he’s used to putting in the work to reap the reward then he’ll likely do the same in our relationship. I want a man who knows how to hustle!
Is he trying hard or hardly trying when it comes to his appearance? Let me be honest—I want my guy to look good. He may not be Channing Tatum, but he should care about his health and wellness. Physical attraction is a huge player in successful relationships.
Does he see himself going somewhere in life or is he complacent? I’ve started looking for a man with a plan. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to be there. I don’t want a guy living without a purpose and having no aspirations for the future. I’ve learned that if you’re stuck with a man-child who’s happy where he is and never wants to change a thing, I need to RUN FAR AWAY!
Is he going to be there when I need him? The last thing I need is a flake. Guys will stand you up or make other plans when they’re supposed to be meeting up with you and I got sick of it. The follow-through is so important. If he always shows up for me then it’s a good sign that he’ll be there if and when I really need him to be.
Does he treat me with respect? Let’s face it, some guys are just pigs. They don’t respect women at all. I refuse to be that girl who thinks that it will be different and that I’ll be able to change him. He should respect me from the very beginning and I won’t settle for anything less.
Are all of his friends jerks or does he surround himself with good people? You can tell a lot about a person by evaluating the people that they choose to spend time with. If his friends are constantly at bars, clubbing and living it up with constant partying, then that guy may not be ready to make a serious commitment. His friends are the main people influencing him! If he keeps good company, then he may be good to keep.
Is he just telling me what I want to hear or is there a place for me in his life? If he is willing to really let me into his life, then he’s probably in it more long-term. If I’m faced with a smooth-talker who just tells me things I want to hear all the time, it’s probably a good idea for me to move on. He may not be the man I thought he was, and I don’t want to stick around to find out.
Is he willing to compromise or is he stuck in his ways? Compromise will make or break an entire relationship. If he tries to see my perspective and cares enough to think things through then he just might be the one for me.
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