I used to give so much of myself in relationships that I was left feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted since I never got the same in return. After years of always getting the short end of the stick, I decided to stop being so self-sacrificial and demand a more even keel. Frankly, it’s been working out great.
I’m no longer worried about what my partner is doing.
When I’m anticipating a text, I hate to admit I’m always wondering what my partner is doing at the moment but I’m so afraid of bothering him that I never ask. Now, if he doesn’t reply to my text, I’m not going to bother. I’ll do the same! My time is valuable, and I no longer want to spend it putting the energy into wondering why he’s being quiet.
I’m making time for the things which bring out the best in me.
After realizing it’s hardly helpful to devote unnecessary brain real estate to people who aren’t considering me at all, which results in me feeling less than stellar, I’m working on my growth. Instead of spending the hour before I fall asleep scrolling through social media while waiting for my partner to text me back, I’ve opted to spend time writing in my journal or reading a book. I do both of these activities for the purpose of letting my mind go. It feels so much better this way.
My friends are happier with me.
There are moments when I can be too much of an open book, much to the chagrin of my friends; everyone and their mother will know when I’m upset about something and I won’t let up until I talk whatever it is into the ground! I admit I’ve spent so much time complaining about a guy to my friends. Now that I’ve reached this life-changing revelation, I have more room in my “topic box” to talk about literally anything else besides whether That Guy really cares about me.
I’m feeling less stressed
: You’ve probably heard a lot about signs of stress that may not feel like signs of stress; for me, I sit with my shoulders bunched up close to my ears, holding in so much unnecessary stress! I do yoga poses to de-stress, but I often concentrated a lot on the reasons I was so stressed while attempting to let it all go! Now that I’ve decided to stop dedicating more times to relationships than I should, I’m able to peacefully work on the exercises at hand.
I’m better at weeding out toxic people.
When I’m investing all of my energy into a relationship in which I’m not feeling fulfilled and my attention is focused solely on them, then I’m unable to devote all of my attention to those people in my life who truly deserve it. These days, I’m getting better at recognizing when someone isn’t making me as much of a priority as I’m making them, and I’m quick to nip that in the bud.
I no longer hold grudges.
Of course, there are many reasons to hold a grudge, but it’s so important to figure out what situations in your life deserve more attention than others and what you determine is worthy of your anger—t takes a lot of energy to be angry! The majority of my grudges as of late were ones I held against people who I believed needed to give me more attention because I put a lot of unnecessary and unrealistic expectations on them. Sure, I still have standards, but only when someone proves they’re worth investing my time in to begin with.
I’ve learned so much about
expectations. I’ve only been in one serious relationship and it was pretty intense, so it’s easy for me to fall into the headspace of a serious relationship and place expectations on a one-night stand which are wildly inappropriate and never going to happen. These days, I save my energy and try to be more accountable for my own feelings so that I don’t get hurt or waste my time.
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