The best part about being single is going out for wine with your BFFs and talking about guys — it’s all about dissecting every moment of every date and laughing over embarrassing moments. However, I recently realized it just wasn’t working for me anymore. Here’s why I stopped telling my friends about my dates:
- It got depressing. The only thing worse than going on the worst date of your life is having to tell someone every single tiny detail. It’s like living the awfulness all over again. I started getting super miserable when recounting my first dates, and realized it would be so much smarter to shut up.
- I want to move on. Yeah, I go on a ton of dates, and while it would be awesome if most of them were amazing, the majority of them totally suck. It’s rare that a date is mediocre — they’re usually absolute horror stories. After telling people a few stories, they became fixated on the idea that I only go on bad dates and would never stop bringing this up. Super frustrating. I want to move on and look forward, not to the past.
- I actually want to date. Talking about my experiences made me want to curl up on my couch and never go out again. That’s not the greatest idea if I ever want to find love. In order to save my sanity and make sure I actually meet new people, I owe it to myself to keep my dates to myself (especially the bad ones).
- I can’t even sometimes. The guy that called me short as soon as he laid eyes on me, the guy that walked off when I thought we were crossing the street, the guy that assumed we were already serious when it was literally our first OkCupid date… Yeah, I can’t even sometimes. I need to not remember what has happened to me or I’m going to go crazy.
- I want to believe good dates exist. If I focus on the worst dates ever, I can’t possibly think that a good date exists, and I want nothing more than to think that this is possible for me and my friends, too. By not dwelling on my dates, this dream might just become a reality.
- I don’t want to hear about my friends’ dates. This may make me sound like a terrible friend and I swear I’m not. I just get sad that the girls I adore and know are so amazing are being treated so badly by guys. By avoiding the topic of dating when we can, I can pretend that this doesn’t happen.
- I’m not an open book when in love. I’m not into sharing my love life (when there is one to speak of) with every single person around. I like to keep things super private and between me and the person I’m with. When I do call someone my boyfriend once again, I’m not going to be sharing stuff. So I might as well get used to it now. The next time I go on a good date, I’ll tell my BFFs that I finally met someone awesome, and that’s going to be it.
