I’m Straight But I’ve Never Actually Been In Love With A Man

It’s always seemed odd to me that people get stuck on finding true love. There are so many reasons that being single is more fulfilling and a lot less complicated than having a partner. Here’s why I’ve never actually been in love.

  1. Love is messy. I’ve seen love do wonderful things for people—make them happier than they say they’d ever been, grow into better people, find new passions in life—but it’s never all sunshine and butterfly kisses. When people fall in love, they’re opening themselves up to all kinds of pain and disappointment and I just don’t want to put myself in that position. Over the years, I’ve realized that I can find happiness, become a better person, and discover new passions without having to fall in love with anyone, and I’m content to keep it that way.
  2. I’d rather be close to my friends and family than one guy. The last thing I want is to become one of those people who disappears the minute they fall in love with someone. My friends and family are the most important things in my life, and I don’t ever want to lose sight of that by sacrificing everything for someone I may only be in love with for a few a years.
  3. Casual relationships are fine, but I don’t have time for anything serious. It’s not like I’m completely against relationships—I enjoy a fling every now and again. I’ve dated one or two guys for months at a time, but I’ve never been inclined to turn it into anything serious. I don’t have time. I’m too busy with my own life and spending time with my friends and family.
  4. I’m whole on my own. I don’t need an “other half.” The phrase “other half” has always been a little disturbing and insulting to me, as if a person isn’t whole until they meet another person who “completes” them. I’ve never felt completed by another person simply because I’ve never felt less than whole on my own. The idea that it takes a significant other to make you a full person is the definition of clinically low self-esteem and needs to be dealt with on its own, not by falling in love with someone.
  5. My girlfriends are the only loves of my life. My female friends are my rocks. We’re always there for each other and love each other unconditionally. They’re all I need. I can get sex from guys, but I can only get the kind of companionship I need from my girlfriends. They’re indispensable, and because of that, they are the true loves of my life.
  6. I’ve always found the concept of romantic love totally impractical. Romantic love is a beautiful concept, but it doesn’t stay beautiful. No one can be madly in love throughout an entire week together, let alone a life. Imagining that your love will sustain you through everything is just setting yourself up for failure.
  7. I’ve seen how love can negatively affect people. Sometimes, love just doesn’t seem worth it. Even if you decide you’re ready to enter into a serious relationship despite the uncertainty and the ups and downs, sometimes the struggles still catch you off guard. I’ve seen people whose lives are destroyed by a partner’s unfaithfulness or the messy end of a relationship, and I want no part of it.
  8. My friendships are a better investment. Friendships take work, as do all relationships involving love and commitment, but they are much easier than romantic love. They come more naturally because there is no expectation of living together forever and filling every need of the other person. Investing in friendships has never let me down.
  9. I’ve never met anyone who’s exactly right for me. The simple fact is that I’ve never met a guy who I cared about enough to commit to. I have male friends who I love and I’m attracted to men on a sexual level, but the romantic, sentimental part really doesn’t come into play nearly enough to make me consider being with anyone long term.
  10. I’m not opposed to the prospect of falling in love with a man, but it hasn’t happened yet and I’m just fine with that. Even though I’m very skeptical of falling in love and committing to someone, I’m aware that circumstances change and I’m open to the possibility. I’m not trying to keep myself from serious relationships, I’m just so great on my own that I don’t feel any need to look for one. If I spend my entire life without a romantic partner, I’ll be very happy.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.