If You Were Strong Enough To Love Him, You’re Strong Enough To Get Over Him

We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with and unfortunately, we sometimes fall in love with the wrong people. Oftentimes, people will find themselves in unhealthy situations with a partner in which they feel as if they are unable to leave because of their feelings for the person. The fact of the matter is that you deserve the world and if you’re not getting that from your partner, it’s time to walk away and trust that you will get over them.

  1. I know that you still love him. It’s hard when you’re still in love with someone even though you aren’t happy in the relationship. Letting go is extremely difficult and when you care for someone, you don’t want to give up on them and you might even feel weak for thinking about leaving the relationship. Even though you still love them, sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. Love just isn’t enough sometimes.
  2. You’ve done everything that you can do. At this point, you’ve done the work. You’ve tried everything that you could think of to save this relationship, to make it work, and to fix those core problems, but nothing has worked. If the other person in the relationship isn’t willing to put in the leg work and try then nothing that you do will ever be enough. You can’t fix something that just isn’t meant to be and you deserve a relationship that won’t require you to put in a tremendous amount of work just to sustain it.
  3. You can’t fake it forever. If you’re truly unhappy in a relationship and you’re forcing yourself to stay because you don’t want to leave the person that you love, imagine pretending to be happy for the rest of your life. The situation will most likely not change and you can’t keep the charade up forever. You’re cheating yourself out of what could be an amazing life by pretending that you’re content with a situation that you’re unhappy with.
  4. Relationships are a two-way street. Nobody deserves to be in a one-sided relationship where one person is doing all the work and that’s what’s been happening here. If you’ve been doing all the work and putting in all the effort, it’s only a matter of time before you start to feel resentful and burnt out. It’s impossible to have a successful relationship if both people aren’t present so if he’s not giving you anything in return, why are you delaying the inevitable?
  5. He’s not ready for you. One of the most common reasons it’s not working could be and probably is that he’s not at a place in his life where he’s ready for someone as emotionally mature and elevated as you. Whether it’s because he’s got a lot of maturing and self-discovery to do or because he’s going through something in his life that’s making it impossible for him to be a reliable partner, he’s just not ready for you and your relationship will never be on equal footing until he is.
  6. It’s not going to get better. Similar to the last point, until he’s in a place in his life where he’s ready for you, the situation is not going to improve. You might think that if you stick it out and just be patient things will get better and your relationship will become what you want it to be, but it’s just not going to happen. Don’t put yourself through the pain if it’s not going to make any difference. Maybe one day, if he changes, you could reunite and things might be different, but for now, it’s best to walk away.
  7. He will continue to manipulate you. If you stay in this relationship, he will continue to do the things that he’s been doing that have been damaging your relationship and your mental health. Whether it’s manipulation, blame, or gaslighting, he will keep doing the abusive behaviors and it will only hurt you more. You don’t deserve to be put through this and it’s better to be alone.
  8. You deserve a healthy and happy relationship. You deserve so much more than someone who puts you through emotional turmoil or doesn’t put in any effort into the relationship. I know it’s difficult to let go of something that you’ve wanted so badly and someone that you care about so much, but you deserve someone who gives and loves as much as you do. You deserve someone who’s going to show you how much they care about you and show you how much you’re worth.
  9. The right relationship won’t feel like this. The right person will never make you feel the way this relationship does. The right person for you will always make you feel seen, valued, and appreciated. You might think that this guy is your soulmate and if you let go of him, you’re letting go of the person you’re meant to be with, but the person you’re meant to be with would never make you feel this way so just know that this person isn’t the love of your life no matter how much you want to believe they are.
  10. You’ll be happier single. As painful as it is to go through a breakup, I promise you that you’ll be happier single than you will be in a relationship with someone who isn’t there for you. It might seem like a horrible and lonely experience at first, but once you let yourself really enjoy the time to yourself by focusing on your own personal growth, taking care of yourself, and figuring out what you want, you will start to see just how much better it is to date yourself.
  11. You’ll be so much stronger for it. When you’re able to walk away from a relationship that isn’t serving you any longer, you will ultimately be so much stronger and more confident within yourself. It’s not going to be easy, but once you’re able to do it, your future relationships will be so much better because you’ll never put up with what this relationship put you through and you’ll be strong enough to walk away if you ever encounter another partner like this one.


Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.