The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Carefree, Independent Woman

The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Carefree, Independent Woman

Life is easier when you’re totally happy with yourself. You don’t waste your days worrying about what others think of your outfits, your hair, or your personality. Of course, there’s always a downside to ruin your fun. When you don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks and you like your life just as it is, it can be hard to find a boyfriend. Most men just don’t know how to handle a woman who is as strong and carefree as you are, but oh well — they’ll just have to get used to it.

1. You’re too blunt.

Instead of asking him back to your apartment for “Netflix and chill,” you’ll just ask him if he wants to bang. Instead of skating around the term “boyfriend and girlfriend,” you’ll straight up ask him if you two are an item or if he’s just using you to sleep with. You don’t waste time beating around the bush. You’re too blunt for that.

2. You don’t dress to impress.

You don’t spend hours sifting through your closet, trying to find the perfect outfit for the bar. You’d rather slip into your yoga pants and call it a night. If a guy expects you to dress up whenever you step out of the house, he’s out of his mind.

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4. You don’t want to put in effort.

Relationships require a lot of effort that you’re not willing to put in. You don’t want to be accused of cheating if you forget to send him a morning text or order the wrong frappe for him at Starbucks. You can’t be bothered to remember the little things.

5. You never put on a facade.

If your date tells a stupid joke, you’re not going to fake a laugh. You’re just going to stare at him until the situation becomes awkward. Why would you pretend that he’s funny when he’s not? Those cliché flirting techniques just don’t make any sense to you.

6. You turn down party invitations.

If you’re already snuggled up on the couch with Netflix and a burrito from Chipotle, you aren’t going to respond to your friend’s text about the big party tonight. Of course, that means you’ll never meet any potential boyfriends, because you don’t “put yourself out there.” You’d rather have a nice night at home than a stressful night out.

7. You don’t take any crap.

If your date says something slightly offensive, you’re going to call him out on it. If he can’t handle it, then he’s not meant for you. He should be able to hold his own during an argument if he wants to get with you.

8. You can be embarrassing.

You don’t have much of a filter, and that can scare some men away. They don’t want you laughing loud at restaurants and drawing attention to yourself. Of course, you don’t see a problem with it, which is why your personalities will clash.

9. You don’t handle orders well.

When your boyfriend tries to prep you for meeting his parents and gives you a list of rules, you aren’t going to handle it well. If they don’t like you for you, it’s their loss. You aren’t going to pretend you love babies just to get his mother’s approval.

10. You don’t understand “normal” problems.

If your boyfriend is self-conscious about his appearance, you won’t be able to relate to him. Instead of reminding him that he looks amazing, you’ll reinforce the fact that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Of course, that’s not exactly what he wants to hear, because people like him will always give a damn. They’re not like you.

11. You don’t care that you’re single.

You’re happy with your life, so you don’t actively try to change it. Why would you? There’s no sense in fixing something that isn’t broken.

Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.