The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Judgmental Woman

The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Judgmental Woman ©iStock/themacx

People are finally realizing that being picky isn’t the worst thing in the world and that sometimes it pays to wait a bit longer for someone that you’re head over heels for instead of just lukewarm about. But while there’s a huge gap between being a bit picky and judging people for zero reason, dating can get pretty confusing when you can’t help but judge every person you come across. When you’re a judgmental woman, there’s no end to your struggles.

  1. You only go on first dates. You would love to go on more second dates, you really would, but there are a million reasons why you can’t. The guy was late. He didn’t pay. He made fun of your favorite TV shows. He brought up his ex in a legit way, but you couldn’t get past it.
  2. Your friends say you’re way harsh. You think they’re too wishy-washy and don’t stand up for themselves or what they believe in. This is one thing you’ll have to agree to disagree about.
  3. You feel too picky when you’re really not. You know that you have every right to pick and choose who you date, but you have moments where you wonder if you’re a bitch in disguise and are being totally unfair. It really messes with your mind sometimes.
  4. You’re super stubborn. When you make a decision about a guy, you believe in it 100 percent and no one can change your mind. That’s a good thing when someone is trying to screw you over but not the greatest when a guy makes an honest mistake and actually deserves your forgiveness. But to you, no one ever gets a second chance.
  5. You can’t lighten up. People think you’re ridiculous and uptight, but you can’t help it. When a date makes a weird comment or something doesn’t sit well with you, that’s it, you might as well go home because the evening is totally ruined.
  6. You hate the first three months. The so-called honeymoon period for any new relationship? Yeah, that’s pretty much hell for you. Every little thing that your new guy does bugs you and you find it super hard to just relax and let things go. Sometimes you’re right, sometimes you’re crazy wrong, but you can never just bask in the glow of your newfound happiness.
  7. You obsess. You can’t ever let anything go, and your friends are pretty sick of the crazy detailed play-by-play of every single date you go on. In your world, there’s no such thing as a throwaway comment. You remember everything.
  8. You regret your decisions. You’re never sure if you’re way off base or on the right track, so things can get confusing pretty quickly. Did you adore that guy or never want to see him again? You usually make super snap judgements but every once in a while, you regret acting so quickly. But you can’t text a guy you ghosted two months ago. Maybe one day you’ll learn, but for now, this is how you date.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.