The Struggles Of Being A Loner In A Social Butterfly’s World

The Struggles Of Being A Loner In A Social Butterfly’s World ©iStock/Prudkov

Socializing is usually seen as a release; the kind of recreation that helps relieve the stress of everyday life. Most people look forward to socializing, but it’s not such a treat for everyone. Some of us prefer to spend more time alone, and socializing actually causes us more stress than it relieves. In a world of social butterflies, loners face a lot of struggles.

  1. “I don’t want to go out” isn’t seen as a valid reason to stay in. Believe it or not, some of us would rather stay home alone on Friday night than go to a crowded bar and pay too much for drinks while strangers attempt to grope us. However, when we’re invited out and we decline, people act like it’s unacceptable to stay home alone just because that’s what we legitimately want to do. Please go and have fun; we’ll be much happier staying in.
  2. People think we’re weird because we’re always behind on the trends. The truth is, we couldn’t care less about keeping up with the Joneses or the Kardashians. We don’t care if our clothes or lingo are out of style, because we don’t spend enough time in public to know or care what the latest trends are. If you say the word “ratchet,” we’re going to picture a tool used to fix a car, and we’re not sorry.
  3. People sometimes don’t appreciate invitations to come over and hang out. Sometimes we do want company, but we still don’t want to fight traffic or crowds and spend a ton of money, so we invite friends over to hang with us. To us, that’s a big deal because we’re offering to share our personal space as well as our food and drinks with you. Don’t write it off as a bad thing just because we didn’t want to go to the club.
  4. We can’t have roommates. We understand that our living expenses would be reduced if we didn’t insist on living alone, but we honestly can’t be around people 24/7 and we don’t want to spend our entire lives in a tiny bedroom. In order to have the quality of life we want, we really have to live alone. The only exception is when we meet The One and get married, but, even then, he has to be prepared to give us our alone time when we need it.
  5. Finding love is tough when you don’t want to go out. We have to force ourselves to go out because it’s the only way we’ll ever find the one we’re looking for. The problem is that going out sucks and we really don’t want to do it, but we do want to find that special person who will enjoy staying home with us forever.
  6. Our social media profiles consist entirely of funny memes and random selfies. We don’t have many pictures of us that were taken by other people because we don’t hang out with other people very much. If it weren’t for selfies, we would have absolutely no pictures to speak of.
  7. People assume we’re lonely. We appreciate your concern, but we’re good on our own. Those of us who are naturally loners are the type who live in our own heads and keep ourselves entertained, no company necessary.
  8. People get offended when we leave their party early. It’s nothing personal, nor does it say anything about the quality of your party. The fact is, we only came to be nice and we’re anxiously waiting for that moment when we’ve put in enough time and we can escape to the comfort of our homes and watch Star Wars in our underwear. Don’t be offended; we just prefer our own awesome party of one.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.
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