Being romantic in a dating scene full of ghosting, love-bombing, and one-night stands is a recipe for disaster. And yet, I can’t help but daydream about the perfect man who’s going to sweep me off my hopeful feet. These are my struggles of being romantic in a world full of douchebag dudes.
- You’d think it would kill a guy to open the door for me. What ever happened to good manners? Come on—it wouldn’t kill him to be a gentleman and I don’t think I’m unrealistic for expecting it. Letting the door slam in my face when we go into a bar is just rude. I’m not Cinderella but I still love it when guys open the car door for me or give me their umbrella when it rains. It’s just classy and endearing in an old-school way.
- I’m sick of being asked to have sex in cars. That has never been and never will be sexy. I hate it when impatient douchebags are so eager to sleep with me that they ask me to do it in the car. We’re not savages. I don’t want to get bruised up just because he won’t make an effort to even take me home. I’ll pass on that. I can’t even believe some of these dudes are serious with this crap.
- I never get to go out on fun dates. Not that drinking whiskey at a bar isn’t fine, but I’m sick of douchebags with no imagination. Take me hiking, let’s have a picnic at the beach or go for a sunset ride and watch the skyline from above. See? It’s not that hard to come up with creative and romantic date ideas. Most guys nowadays make zero effort.
- I really don’t care for threesomes. Okay, I understand that it might be fun to bring in another girl for a change but I just don’t care for it. I’m old-fashioned. If he liked me, he’d only want to be with me so we can live happily ever after, right? Douchebags only care about sex and don’t give a damn about romance. I’m not down for re-enacting porn fantasies, either. Guys like that shouldn’t call me.
- I want him to call me instead of sending pics of his junk. What ever happened to talking on the phone? Why isn’t this still a perfectly normal thing to do? There are so many romantic gestures we need to bring back. I want to hear his voice and have a meaningful conversation, not look at photos of his junk. I’ll get way more turned on if he said something intelligent over the phone instead of sending a badly-lit photo of his genitals. That’s never impressive.
- I’d like for him to formally ask me to be his girlfriend. Not only do I find this sweet and charming but it also saves me from the struggle of trying to figure out what we are. In college, I dated a guy for a whole year. I thought it was casual hooking up and didn’t take it seriously while he thought I was his official girlfriend. How was I supposed to know if he never said anything?
- I don’t want Prince Charming but I also don’t want him to show up with ripped jeans and a dirty shirt for a date. Seriously, dating is like going to a job interview—you have to dress the part. I’ve dated douchebags who thought it was fine to show up with a shirt that had stains on it. That’s just gross. How can he possibly think he’ll sweep me off my feet if he can’t do his laundry?
- What ever happened to small gifts? Okay, before you call me a gold-digger, hear me out. I love small gifts. They’re so romantic. I’m talking a single flower or a card, not a Mercedes. It’s so sweet to receive a gift when I don’t expect it. It shows that he knows me well and has figured out my taste. Sadly, douchebags think that a beer at the bar is enough. It’s time that dudes stepped up their game and made an effort.
- Douchebags think that because I’m romantic, I’m clingy. Newsflash: these two have literally zero correlation. I can be romantic and still enjoy my own time. Wanting a little romance in a relationship doesn’t mean that I’m obsessed with the guy. If he thinks that this is true, he’s just blind and self-centered. Ironically, my romantic side actually craves solitude often, so I can happily hang out by myself for days.
- Wanting to wake up next to him doesn’t make me a dumb romantic. What’s so wrong about waking up together after we’ve had sex? I hate how douchebags think it’s such a power move to sneak out in the middle of the night. It’s inconvenient, rude, and immature. It doesn’t take a romantic to know that sleeping together is totally fine. Doesn’t mean we’ll have to get married, just shows that we’re mature.
