The Struggles Of Being A Romantic In A World Full Of Douchebags

Being romantic in a dating scene full of ghosting, love-bombing, and one-night stands is a recipe for disaster. And yet, I can’t help but daydream about the perfect man who’s going to sweep me off my hopeful feet. These are my struggles of being romantic in a world full of douchebag dudes.

  1. You’d think it would kill a guy to open the door for me. What ever happened to good manners? Come on—it wouldn’t kill him to be a gentleman and I don’t think I’m unrealistic for expecting it. Letting the door slam in my face when we go into a bar is just rude. I’m not Cinderella but I still love it when guys open the car door for me or give me their umbrella when it rains. It’s just classy and endearing in an old-school way.
  2. I’m sick of being asked to have sex in cars. That has never been and never will be sexy. I hate it when impatient douchebags are so eager to sleep with me that they ask me to do it in the car. We’re not savages. I don’t want to get bruised up just because he won’t make an effort to even take me home. I’ll pass on that. I can’t even believe some of these dudes are serious with this crap.
  3. I never get to go out on fun dates. Not that drinking whiskey at a bar isn’t fine, but I’m sick of douchebags with no imagination. Take me hiking, let’s have a picnic at the beach or go for a sunset ride and watch the skyline from above. See? It’s not that hard to come up with creative and romantic date ideas. Most guys nowadays make zero effort.
  4. I really don’t care for threesomes. Okay, I understand that it might be fun to bring in another girl for a change but I just don’t care for it. I’m old-fashioned. If he liked me, he’d only want to be with me so we can live happily ever after, right? Douchebags only care about sex and don’t give a damn about romance. I’m not down for re-enacting porn fantasies, either. Guys like that shouldn’t call me.
  5. I want him to call me instead of sending pics of his junk. What ever happened to talking on the phone? Why isn’t this still a perfectly normal thing to do? There are so many romantic gestures we need to bring back. I want to hear his voice and have a meaningful conversation, not look at photos of his junk. I’ll get way more turned on if he said something intelligent over the phone instead of sending a badly-lit photo of his genitals. That’s never impressive.
  6. I’d like for him to formally ask me to be his girlfriend. Not only do I find this sweet and charming but it also saves me from the struggle of trying to figure out what we are. In college, I dated a guy for a whole year. I thought it was casual hooking up and didn’t take it seriously while he thought I was his official girlfriend. How was I supposed to know if he never said anything?
  7. I don’t want Prince Charming but I also don’t want him to show up with ripped jeans and a dirty shirt for a date. Seriously, dating is like going to a job interview—you have to dress the part. I’ve dated douchebags who thought it was fine to show up with a shirt that had stains on it. That’s just gross. How can he possibly think he’ll sweep me off my feet if he can’t do his laundry?
  8. What ever happened to small gifts? Okay, before you call me a gold-digger, hear me out. I love small gifts. They’re so romantic. I’m talking a single flower or a card, not a Mercedes. It’s so sweet to receive a gift when I don’t expect it. It shows that he knows me well and has figured out my taste. Sadly, douchebags think that a beer at the bar is enough. It’s time that dudes stepped up their game and made an effort.
  9. Douchebags think that because I’m romantic, I’m clingy. Newsflash: these two have literally zero correlation. I can be romantic and still enjoy my own time. Wanting a little romance in a relationship doesn’t mean that I’m obsessed with the guy. If he thinks that this is true, he’s just blind and self-centered. Ironically, my romantic side actually craves solitude often, so I can happily hang out by myself for days.
  10. Wanting to wake up next to him doesn’t make me a dumb romantic. What’s so wrong about waking up together after we’ve had sex? I hate how douchebags think it’s such a power move to sneak out in the middle of the night. It’s inconvenient, rude, and immature. It doesn’t take a romantic to know that sleeping together is totally fine. Doesn’t mean we’ll have to get married, just shows that we’re mature.
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.