All of you tall drinks of water out there, this is for you. Being tall isn’t always supermodel glamorous, no matter what the pages of Vogue would like you to believe — sometimes it’s downright awkward, and makes you feel super out of place. Here are 30 struggles we’ve all faced at one time or another (and probably still do on a daily basis, in fact).
- People constantly telling you that you’re tall. Say what?! Oh my gosh, I’ve never noticed. Thanks for that life-changing information.
- Always being asked your height. We might as well carry around our very own roster card complete with our height and weight so we can just hand it out rather than answering this question every day.
- The impossible task of finding the perfect pair of jeans. Skinny jeans? Yeah, they make great capris. Bootcut? Whelp, at least we’re prepared for the flood. If a store doesn’t offer a “Long” option, we don’t shop there.
- Trying to wear long sleeve shirts. You can layer all you want — your wrists will still be exposed.
- Trying to wear jackets. You know what’s never cute? A ¾ sleeve winter jacket.
- Not being able to use dryers. It’s hard enough to find clothes that actually fit, so we’d like to keep it that way. We might as well get rid of any jeans and long sleeve shirts we throw in the dryer, because there’s no way they’re covering our wrists and ankles after they hit that kind of heat. At least we’re keeping the clothesline industry in business.
- Everyone thinking you’re a basketball player. Tall people can be gangly, okay? Not all of us are coordinated enough to play sports.
- Trying to dance when you know everyone in the whole room can see you. Dancing can be awkward in general, but it doesn’t help that you’re about a head taller than all of your friends and the whole room can see you and your dance moves at all times.
- Being unable to wear rompers. Super cute on the hanger, but that unavoidable camel toe kills. Your whole butt hanging out doesn’t really work, either.
- Finding a maxi dress that’s actually long enough. The ankle to ground ratio that the maxi dress leaves exposed is not a good look.
- That awkward squat pose you have to do to actually fit your head in a picture. I guess it looks better than having the top of your head chopped off.
- Not being able to see yourself in mirrors. At least you know your neck looks good.
- Getting judged for wearing heels. Tall ladies have to mentally prepare themselves to wear heels. Literally every person in the whole city stares at you. It’s hard to take that kind of attention.
- You have to actually ask a potential date how tall he is. The nightmare of going on a date with a guy that’s shorter than you is better off avoided.
- Feeling like you always have to wear flats. Heels are cute, but even in flats, we’re still the tallest people in the room.
- Going grocery shopping. When the employees ask you to help them hang up a sign… and they have a ladder. At least the little old ladies that ask us to help them grab something off the top shelf are cute.
- People asking how the weather is up there. Seriously? Same as down there, bitch.
- Trying to wash your hair when you’re taller than the showerhead. Thank God it’s beanie season. Hair can be washed another day.
- Trying to hug a guy. Do we go arms on shoulders because we’re taller, or arms under because you’re the guy? Oops, boobs in your face. This is awkward.
- Trying to find a dress that doesn’t show your whole ass. Short girls can wear shirts as dresses… Tall girls wear dresses as shirts.
- When all the 6’3” and over girls like to date girls 5’4” and under. Fabulous. This is just fabulous.
- The fingertip rule in high school should only apply to girls with normal sized limbs. You can’t even buy shorts that length.
- Concussions aren’t just a threat to football players. Lamps, doorways, and ceilings – they’ve all met your forehead a few times.
- Looking clumsy no matter what you’re doing. Yoga, walking, and basic life functions all just look a little more awkward with long limbs.
- People calling you a breeder. Um, that’s derogatory. But frontcourt seats for life do sound good… Let’s just hope your kid is athletic and not just tall.
- Squats, pushups, and lunges are way harder. It’s a long way down, people. Short girls for the win.
- Shaving takes twice as long. Well, the surface area is practically doubled.
- You will never be carried into your honeymoon suite on your wedding night. Even if he can pick you up, there’s no way you’re fitting in the doorframe.
- Planes are your worst nightmare. Whoever designed airplane seats clearly was shorter than 5’8”. Screw the drink cart; your feet belong in the aisle, because there’s no way they’re fitting between seats for the duration of the flight.
- Hearing any girl shorter than 5’9” talk about the struggles of being tall. Um, BYE.