Sure, “having it all” sounds nice, but in real life, that’s much easier said than done. In real life, everyone has priorities, and yours are clear — you’re going straight to the top of that career ladder. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are, and you want to keep that momentum going. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want to find love, but it does mean that there are just some things that you’re not willing to compromise in order to do so. If you can relate, you can probably also relate to these:
You want to make your sacrifice “worth it” so you end up working crazy hard and crazy long hours. Which leads into a vicious cycle, because you’re working way too hard to put in the necessary effort to find a partner.
You warn away guys that might be interested. Every time you meet someone that seems like a good match, you keep on warning them that they’re not going to be your first priority and that they should get out while they still can. Unfortunately, many of them take your advice.
You won’t even consider being with someone who can’t talk for hours about the issues you focus on at work. It’s just such a big part of your life that you don’t think you’d be compatible with someone who doesn’t share your passion for what you do.
Your colleagues just assume that “work-life balance” isn’t applicable to you and that you will cover all of their crappy shifts. So you try to be the nice guy and do them a favor, sacrificing your weekend so they can be with their family. And what do you get in return? Them asking “out of concern” about your relationship status and wondering if you’re really putting in enough effort. You have got to be kidding me.
Nobody thinks to set you up with their single friends because they just assume you won’t make the time to make a relationship work. If he’s worth it, you would. It’s just that you haven’t found someone yet who is.
You intimidate guys who don’t have their act together. You pay your bills, have a steady job, and frankly just own adulthood. So when you meet a guy that’s still finding his way, he can’t keep up.
You ask your mentors for career advice, and they end up giving you relationship advice. Seriously, all you want is for people to help you move up the career ladder, but somehow they think that’s an invitation to give commentary on your single status.
You listen to your friends brag about their “accomplishments” in the romance department, but you can’t brag about your promotion. You’re constantly “liking” Facebook statuses about engagement rings, weddings, and baby showers. Yet if you write an update about how you’re kicking ass and making a bunch of money at your job, you just seem like a pretentious jerk.
You dread large family get-togethers. You prepare and even rehearse your answers in advance to the questions you know are coming about your relationship status.Nobody seems to understand that you’re just an independent woman, and that makes you, well, different.
You worry sometimes that you’ll have regrets later on. You feel good about your priorities now, but you do sometimes have a flicker of doubt that those priorities will change later and you’ll have missed some crucial opportunity. Relax. It’s never too late to adjust that infamous work-life balance accordingly if you change your mind. Until then, enjoy that paycheck!
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