If You’re Struggling To Meet Guys, Here’s How To Really Put Yourself Out There

Putting yourself out there really just comes down to opening yourself up to new prospects. Your dream guy isn’t going to show up when you’re home in your sweats, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy (thank God). It might be time to shake things up.

  1. Let go of the past. Before you throw yourself out there, ready for a new experience, make sure you’ve let go of all the BS from your past. No matter what your dating experiences have been like until now, go forward with the same enthusiasm you had diving into that fresh babe pool your first year of college. It’s good to use your head but leave the cynicism at home.
  2. Know what you’re looking for. Having criteria when it comes to dating is important—you have to have some idea of who you’re hoping to meet. Having standards is good, but make sure you’re not being too picky about the trivial stuff. Keep an open mind and you may be surprised.
  3. Keep your eyes open. At the end of the day, you have to be paying attention to notice when an opportunity presents itself. You could meet someone at the supermarket, in line at the bank, or in the dentist waiting room, but you’ll never know if you’re constantly guarded or always glued to your phone. Try being present so you don’t miss anything!
  4. Take your work elsewhere. Being the primary location we spend most our time, the workplace is a pretty popular setting where people meet their other halves. But if your prospects are slim or you don’t have co-workers (i.e., you work from home), try changing up the scenery by hitting the local cafe or the public library.
  5. Enjoy happy hour. Going out doesn’t have to mean doing shots and ending up in some sweaty vertical dance floor grind (although you could meet someone that way). Hitting the bar scene doesn’t have to be seedy. Why not go for happy hour drinks after work or try that new piano bar? Change it up to find where the interesting people are hanging out.
  6. Join groups on Facebook. There is a Facebook group for everything these days. Seriously, there’s one called “Benjyo Soujer” for people who like to meet up and clean public toilets together. Whatever does it for you, search for a group in your area and not only will you e-connect with like-minded people, but often they’ll hold events where you can meet IRL.
  7. Take your fur baby to the park. If you don’t have one, steal a friend’s. Everyone (worth meeting) likes dogs. Plus, they make a great ice breaker and buffer. You might feel guilty about using your four-legged friend as a pawn in your pick-up game, but Buster will appreciate stretching his legs, so it’s a win-win.
  8. Try other online dating options. So Tinder makes you want to stab yourself in the eye with a fork, I get it, but have you tried the other options? The internet is full of dating platforms that are home to potential suitors who won’t send a “u up?” text at 2 am or the dreaded dick pic.
  9. Take a class. Do you have a road not taken? Local colleges and community groups always run classes and seminars that won’t take up all your time. Not only is it an easy environment to strike up a conversation with a stranger but you’ll also get to learn a new skill or two.
  10. Join a gym. It might be time to actually use that membership you constantly waste money on. Not only is the gym full of millennials working on more than just their mirror selfie game, but if you see someone who catches your eye, you’ll have even more motivation to work on your Jen Selter butt goals.
  11. Accept social invites. It’s easy to be a no-man for things like birthdays and parties, especially when the alternative is a quiet, cozy, makeup-free night in. But these are prime opportunities to get out there and have fun amongst other people who are ready to mingle.
  12. Join a sports team. Did you play a sport as a kid but gave it up when education/work/adulting got in the way? Not only will it feel great to jump back in, but sports clubs provide a whole new community of people to meet. Even if you were never athletic, it’s never too late to try something new!
  13. Volunteer. So obviously the main reason to volunteer is to give back, but don’t forget it’s a great way to meet people who care about the same things you do. Check in at the local animal shelter, soup kitchen, or environmental club to see how you can contribute.
  14. Pick up a hobby. Work on you Master Chef skills, audition for the community theatre, or take a hip-hop class—maybe you’ll meet Channing Tatum. Other than creating new venues to meet people, your hobbies will make you more interesting when you do meet a contender… or at least give you more to talk about on all the dates you’ll be having once you follow these steps!
Tabitha is a freelance writer and editor who is currently trying and failing to achieve a tan in Queensland, Australia. When she's not traveling the world in search of the country with the best food (and hottest dudes), she is living the perfect hermit life and fostering her unhealthy addiction of "The Bold and the Beautiful."