If You Notice These Subtle Changes In Yourself, Your Relationship Is Bad For You

Bad relationships take many forms, but the signs that you’re in one aren’t always obvious. When you have a hard time seeing the red flags, you can grow complacent without even realizing it. But if you stay in a lousy relationship for too long, these are some of the things you’ll start to notice:

  1. You compromise too much. It’s the little things you do to meet your partner halfway that might make you think you’re simply compromising in a healthy relationship. But if you’re not careful, you might end up compromising yourself. For instance, if you remain quiet when something doesn’t feel right because you’re so focused on pleasing your partner, that’s not healthy. After doing that for a while, you’ll build resentment and feel like you’re not honoring who you are.
  2. You forget what you love. What’s happened to your hobbies and passions since you’ve been in this relationship? Do you still dedicate time to them? Do they still make you feel good? If not, you haven’t forgotten them — you’ve neglected them. It could be that your relationship is pulling you away from those things that used to be important to you. Or maybe you’re allowing yourself to turn your back on important things that are more vital for your happiness than you realize.
  3. You keep your dreams private. If your partner doesn’t support your goals, it might make you stop confiding in him about them. Eventually, you’ll start dreaming about your future and celebrating your small victories on your own. You might think it’s no big deal, but it can lead you to censor your ambition because you’re making your relationship the greatest priority in your life. No relationship should take the fire our of your life.
  4. You don’t know how you feel. Sometimes you might ask yourself if you’re happy and realize you don’t really know. Other times you might consider yourself numb or apathetic. This could be because you’re always so focused on your partner’s happiness that you’re forgetting about yours.
  5. You haven’t seen your friends in ages. Although it’s not easy to find time to get together with your besties due to your busy schedule, you might be hiding behind this excuse. Perhaps the real reason why you’ve had such a low profile lately is because you’re always doing what your partner wants to do in your spare time. You’re forgetting about other important people in your life and isolating yourself from the friends who’d be there for you no matter what. You’ll regret it if you don’t fix things soon.
  6. You’re constantly drained. Have you started to feel like being around your partner is physically and mentally exhausting? You might not think this means anything, but it could be a huge sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. A healthy partnership will inspire and energize you, not crush you.
  7. You threw out your possessions when you moved in with him. It might’ve made sense to leave your possessions behind when you shacked up with your BF, but it’s really saying that your life before him isn’t as valuable as your relationship. You need to bring more of who you are into your home and life if you’re going to be happy.
  8. Your moods depend on your relationship. When the relationship is going well, you feel happy. When it isn’t, you’re down in the dumps. Although it’s normal to go through different emotions depending on how well your relationship is going, it’s not healthy for your mood to completely depend on your partner.
  9. When your partner isn’t around, you feel lost. You know it’s important to have space from your partner every now and then so you can do your own thing, but when you get that space, you don’t know what to do with yourself. It’s like you’ve lost the person you used to be before your boyfriend came along — the one who knew what to do with her spare time to make herself happy. It’s time to get her back.
  10. You accept bad sex. Your sex life is functional without the “fun”, but you don’t speak up to your partner about what you want. Are you accepting mediocre sex because you’re afraid of upsetting him? You’re just screwing yourself over and settling in an area where you really shouldn’t be. You deserve amazing sex, and you shouldn’t convince yourself otherwise.
  11. You get bored. You know exactly what you’re going to text your partner and what he’ll say, where you’re going for dinner, and what you’ll do later. You’re in a relationship, but it often feels like you’re running an assembly line in a factory. If your relationship is sucking the desire for spontaneity right out of you, something isn’t right. Love should be fun, not just tolerable.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.