Subtle Signs The Guy You’re Dating Is A Mansplainer

A guy who always mansplains everything to you because he doesn’t think that a woman could possibly know anything is definitely not one that you want to be with. But what if the dude you’re dating is guilty of this behavior and you’re not even aware of it? Here are 10 subtle signs to look out for.

  1. He always needs to be right. Mansplainers seem like they literally can’t shut up, and that’s because they have a deep-seated desire to be right about everything. It doesn’t matter how big or small the topic of conversation is—if he’s this type of guy, he’s going to keep the discussion going until you admit that he’s right. Even if you refuse to give him what he wants, he’s still going to say that he’s right. Sounds frustrating, doesn’t it?
  2. He talks way more than he listens. A guy can’t be a mansplainer if he doesn’t think that he’s the coolest person ever. In order to make you feel like you know nothing and he knows everything, he has to chat up a storm no matter what. If the guy that you’re seeing is a real chatterbox and doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise, you can be sure that you’re wading into mansplaining territory.
  3. He’s charming in a creepy way. There’s a reason that you were attracted to this guy in the first place: he’s full of charm. He’s good-looking and he knows how to put it on. After a while, though, you might have this sinking feeling that there’s something a bit off about him. Well, there is. He’s a mansplainer and kinda the worst.
  4. He complains 24/7 about everything under the sun. This kind of guy is usually in a pretty bad mood. He thinks that he’s better than everyone (yes, that means that he thinks that he’s better than you) and he’s not going to think twice about whining about everything from bad service at a restaurant to the fact that it’s getting cold outside. His sense of entitlement is through the roof.
  5. He constantly starts arguments for on reason. What is it about mansplainers and fighting? They just love being argumentative and trying to get under your skin. It’s basically foreplay for him, which is exactly as creepy as it sounds. You should definitely steer clear of this guy once you realize what’s going on. You don’t want or need to deal with someone like this.
  6. He makes every single decision. If the guy that you’re dating always orders for you when you’re out for dinner and always tells you what you’re going to do on date night, that’s a serious red flag. That not only makes him controlling but it proves that he thinks that he knows what’s best for you. More than that, it proves that he thinks that he knows more than you do. Super creepy… and definitely what a mansplainer does.
  7. He tells you how you feel about things. Does he say you won’t like the new Marvel movie so he doesn’t want to invite you to see it this weekend? Does he start sentences with “This is going to piss you off, but…”? Yup, he’s a total mansplainer. He just can’t believe that a woman would have an opinion that he couldn’t see coming from a mile away. Even when you set him straight and talk about how you feel, chances are he’s going to keep believing that he’s got you all figured out.
  8. You’re still stuck in almost relationship territory even though it’s been months (or longer). Why would a mansplainer commit to you? He wouldn’t. He doesn’t respect women and so he definitely doesn’t respect you. As much as it might suck to realize that, the truth is that he probably has given you a lot of BS excuses about why you guys haven’t defined the relationship yet. Guess what? You haven’t DTR-ed yet because he’s never going to.
  9. He’s never excited for your good news. A common thing about mansplainers is they think that they know everything there is to know about everything, including anything career-related. This guy probably never gets excited for you and doesn’t want to celebrate your accomplishments. That would involve admitting that you know what you’re doing and that you’re damn good at it. Why are you even with this guy?!
  10. He leaves you feeling emotionally exhausted. If you always feel totally drained rather than exhilarated when you hang out with this guy, that’s a subtle sign that he’s a mansplainer. His endless need to tell you what’s what and still have you think the world of him is definitely tiring. Honestly, there’s nothing in it for you if you’re in this kind of situation. You’re not going to have fun with him and he’s not the right guy for you. Say goodbye to the super lame mansplainer and find a guy who actually wants to listen to you because he knows that you’re amazing and he’s lucky to have you in his life.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.