Everything seemed great with your new guy at first, but you’re starting to have the sneaking suspicion that you’re being taken advantage of. Unfortunately, if any of these things are happening, you’re dead right.

You have to make all the plans. 

Gone are the days where you were both making an equal effort when it comes to arranging dates and keeping in touch outside of them. Nowadays, if you want to see him, you always have to be the one to reach out to him and it’s starting to get on your nerves. I mean, relationships should be 50/50, not 80/20, right?

He’s always “busy.”

When you do finally get a response to your latest text(s), he always tells you how busy he is. It’s kind of weird because he used to drop everything to see you or make himself available when he knew you were. These days, he seems to turn you down more times than he takes you up on your offers to hang and it doesn’t feel good.

He cancels dates at the last minute. 

When you do finally pin him down for a date, it seems to be a common occurrence for him to wait until an hour or two before it’s due to start and then cancel at the last possible opportunity. Fair enough if he had solid excuses, but “I have to feed my dog” really doesn’t suffice. Humph.

He never turns down a booty call

When it comes to dates, he’s flaky, but when he knows he’s going to get laid, he wouldn’t dream of missing the opportunity. In fact, you’re starting to feel like he only wants you for one thing because the only time you really talk is when you propose a sleepover.

You make excuses for him.

Having said that, you really can’t help still liking the guy. I mean, things were so perfect in the beginning. Your friends and family members might be telling you how much they don’t like his behavior but you can’t help but defend him. After all, you’re the only one who knows how great he is when it’s just the two of you, right?

He’s not integrating you into his life. 

If he’s so busy then you don’t understand why he can’t invite you to the birthday party he has to go to for his grandpa or his weekly bar-hopping night out with his friends. I mean, other girlfriends get to go, so why can’t you? If he’s leaving you out of situations where he could easily slot you in, this is a massive red flag and you should run. Fast.

He makes you do things that you don’t want to do.

It’s like your needs and desires don’t matter at all. Whether it’s ordering a pepperoni pizza when you wanted vegetarian or going with him to the mall when you wanted to go out for dinner, if he’s guilt-tripping you into doing stuff all on his terms, this isn’t fair and you definitely shouldn’t put up with it.

He constantly asks you for favors. 

No, he can’t hang with you on Saturday night because he’s going to his colleague’s goodbye party, but can you pick him up and drive him home so he can have a few drinks? Um, are you kidding? If he’s always asking you to help him out but refuses to do anything for you, he’s obviously not around for the right reasons. Harsh but true.

He refuses to put labels on the relationship. 

Even though you guys have been seeing each other for a while now, he actively tries to avoid the conversations where you ask him where you stand. It’s so infuriating when he’s practically the perfect BF when you’re alone and then he acts like you don’t exist when you’re not together. It’s confusing.

You feel a loss of control. 

Ultimately, you’re adamant that you’re working much harder than him in the relationship and you’re getting tired of the fact that it’s super one-sided. Maybe you’re even starting to feel incredibly insecure and look inward thinking that there’s something wrong with you. (FYI—there isn’t.) He snaps his fingers and you go running—and that’s not how a positive, healthy relationship should be. You deserve a guy who doesn’t take advantage of your feelings and likes you just as much as you like him. Throw this guy in the trash can and move on to someone who will appreciate your worth.

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