11 Subtle Signs That Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You

You can’t build a healthy relationship with a person who sees or treats you as less than because love cannot thrive without respect. You want to be with someone who treats you right. These are some not-so-obvious signs of disrespect you need to keep an eye out for as they are an indicator that your partner is giving you less than you deserve.

1. They use sex as a bargaining chip. If a person gives or withholds sex as some kind of power play to get you to do what they want, it means they don’t respect you. You shouldn’t have to grovel for intimacy with your partner, and you certainly shouldn’t feel like you owe them a sexual favor for doing anything. Your moods, feelings, desires, and needs are equally important. Never forget that.
2. They disregard your work and accomplishments. Even if your partner doesn’t understand what you do or why you do it, they should still be proud of your wins, big or small. When you love someone, you don’t make fun of things that matter to them. You do your best to honor and celebrate their achievements even when things are not going so great for you.
3. It’s either their way or the highway. If your partner is never willing to come to a compromise and insists on having their way every time regardless of how you feel, it’s probably because they don’t respect you. They don’t think your input is worth considering and they’re not concerned about your happiness or satisfaction.
4. They constantly talk over you. You can’t always be 100% interested in what someone has to say, but if you care about someone and respect their voice, you’ll let them air their thoughts before changing the subject even when you’re not really paying attention. If your partner is always interrupting you or can’t hide their disinterest when you speak, it means they don’t value your your opinions.
5. They don’t include you in important decisions. One of my friends learned that her boyfriend of five years accepted a job offer in a new city two weeks before the new job began. He never once mentioned the offer to her or included her in the decision-making process even though the issue affected both of them. That was the last straw for her and she ended things. If they act like they’re the only one in the relationship, take the hint.
6. They invade your space and ignore your boundaries. Whether it’s showing up unannounced, going through your phone, or repeating something you’ve warned them about over and over, it shows your partner has no respect for your boundaries. Relationships are not an excuse to invade people’s privacy, personal space and time, or walk all over their boundaries. That’s toxic behavior.
7. Every argument leads to the silent treatment. The silent treatment is a manipulative and controlling tactic meant to punish someone for doing something you don’t approve of. It’s inherently disrespectful because it shows they don’t think you’re worth the trouble of explaining the misunderstanding and attempting to work through it.
8. They lie and hide things from you. There are many things I can tolerate from my partner, but lying is not one of them. I think it’s one of the most insulting and downright disrespectful things anyone can ever do. If your partner can’t be upfront and honest with you, it means they’re not trustworthy. If you always have to play Sherlock to get your partner to open up or come clean, that’s a huge red flag.
9. They never introduce you to other people. Have you ever stood beside your partner and watched them chat to people they know but you don’t, and they don’t even bother to take a second to say, “Hey, this is my girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse”? Remember how little and insignificant you felt in that moment? It’s because deep down you knew it was disrespectful and you felt ignored and belittled as a result.
10. They make it clear that they settled for you. You should never have to feel like you weren’t your partner’s first choice even if it’s true. As long as you’re with them, they should feel lucky to have you. They should appreciate you and consistently show how much you mean to them. If they act like they’re doing you a favor by being with you, cut those disrespectful ties, and walk away.
11. They always fail to keep their word. Do you really want to be with someone you can’t rely on? If they can’t be bothered to keep their promises or commitments, it’s a reflection of how they feel about you. You’re clearly not a priority so they’re not putting in the effort to show up for you. Dump them and find someone more on your level.