Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but sometimes we might not realize when that foundation is cracking.
Here are 15 subtle signs that indicate you may not trust your partner as much as you think you do. The sooner you notice these behaviors, the sooner you can start to address these trust issues and building a stronger relationship.
1. You constantly check their phone or social media.
If you find yourself regularly snooping through your partner’s messages or social media accounts, it’s a clear sign of mistrust. This behavior indicates you’re looking for evidence of wrongdoing rather than trusting their loyalty. It’s an invasion of privacy that can damage your relationship if left unchecked.
2. You ask for frequent check-ins throughout the day.
While it’s normal to touch base with your partner, constantly asking where they are or who they’re with suggests a lack of trust, WebMD warns. This need for constant verification of their whereabouts stems from an underlying fear or suspicion. It can make your partner feel controlled and create resentment over time.
3. You struggle to believe their explanations.
When your partner explains a situation, do you find yourself doubting their version of events? If you’re always looking for holes in their stories or assuming there’s more they’re not telling you, it’s a sign you don’t fully trust them. This skepticism can create a cycle of questioning and defensiveness in your relationship.
4. You feel the need to verify their stories with other people.
If you often find yourself cross-checking your partner’s accounts of events with friends or family, it’s a sign of mistrust. This behavior shows you value other people’s words over your partner’s, which can be hurtful and damaging to your relationship if discovered.
5. You’re always preparing for the worst.
Constantly bracing yourself for betrayal or disappointment is a subtle sign of mistrust. If you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, it means you don’t truly believe in your partner’s commitment or loyalty. This mindset can prevent you from fully investing in the relationship.
6. You interpret neutral actions as suspicious.
Do you find yourself reading into every little thing your partner does? If you’re constantly assigning negative intentions to neutral actions, it’s a sign you don’t trust them. This tendency to assume the worst can create unnecessary conflict and strain in your relationship.
7. You avoid sharing personal information.
If you’re hesitant to share personal details or vulnerabilities with your partner, it might indicate a lack of trust. Holding back parts of yourself suggests you don’t feel safe or secure in the relationship. True intimacy requires openness and trust from both partners.
8. You feel uneasy when they spend time with other people.
Feeling anxious or upset when your partner is out with friends or coworkers can be a sign of mistrust. If you can’t relax when they’re not with you, it suggests you don’t trust them to maintain boundaries or remain faithful when you’re not around.
9. You downplay the importance of the relationship to other people.
If you find yourself minimizing your relationship’s significance when talking to friends or family, it might indicate a lack of trust in its longevity. This behavior suggests you’re protecting yourself from potential embarrassment or hurt if the relationship doesn’t work out.
10. You’re hesitant to make future plans together.
Reluctance to make long-term plans with your partner can be a subtle sign of mistrust. If you’re always keeping your options open or avoiding commitment, it might mean you don’t trust the relationship to last. This hesitation can prevent the relationship from deepening and growing.
11. You keep secrets or withhold information.
If you’re keeping secrets from your partner or withholding information, it often indicates a lack of trust. This behavior suggests you don’t trust them to handle the information or fear their reaction. It creates distance in the relationship and prevents true intimacy.
12. You feel the need to test their loyalty.
Creating situations to test your partner’s faithfulness is a clear sign of mistrust, The New York Times points out. Whether it’s asking a friend to flirt with them or setting up scenarios to see how they’ll react, these “tests” are manipulative and harmful to the relationship. They indicate a deep-seated lack of trust in your partner’s commitment.
13. You’re always looking for signs of deception.
Constantly analyzing your partner’s body language or tone for signs of lying shows a lack of trust. If you’re always on high alert for deception, it means you don’t believe in their honesty. This hypervigilance can be exhausting for both you and your partner.
14. You avoid conflict or difficult conversations.
If you’re sidestepping important discussions or conflicts because you don’t trust how your partner will react, it’s a sign of underlying mistrust. Healthy relationships require open communication, even about difficult topics. Avoiding these conversations prevents growth and resolution of issues.
15. You feel relieved when you find no evidence of wrongdoing.
If you experience a sense of relief after checking your partner’s phone or accounts and finding nothing suspicious, it’s a sign you expected to find something. This expectation of wrongdoing is a clear indicator of mistrust. In a trusting relationship, you shouldn’t feel the need to verify your partner’s loyalty constantly.
