Subtle Signs That You’re Afraid To Be Alone

Subtle Signs That You’re Afraid To Be Alone ©iStock/Eva-Katalin

Most women are afraid of ending up alone, but to be afraid of being on your own on a day-to-day basis is something entirely different. Being your own person and enjoying your own company is so important to your mental health. If you can relate to any of the following, you might need to brush up on your ability to roll solo:

  1. You jump from relationship to relationship. Have you met the single life? Because you should. The experience of being without a relationship is vitally important to your inner being. You need to learn to be a single person rather than constantly half of a unit.
  2. You fall in love with rebounds. After you suffer a broken heart, you can be pretty insecure when you meet your next crush. Your head is all over the place and your heart is not in the right place. Let your rebounds be momentary and leave the long-term relationships until after you’ve made a full recovery. 
  3. You can’t spend time on your own. Not just in the sense of being single, but you actually can’t stand having alone time. If you’re always with friends, family, lovers, or anyone else, you don’t have time to get in touch with yourself. You may be a people person, but you still need time alone to reflect and refuel. 
  4. You’re a forever flirt. It’s one thing to be a flirt when you’re single, but it’s a whole different game if you’re a flirt when you already have a man. If you continue the flirting outside of your relationship, you’re probably banking on someone being there for you when that relationship ends, meaning you’re already setting up your rebound for play.
  5. You fall in love easily. If you’re finding love everywhere you look, that’s a problem. You’re not simply lucky in love; you’re more in love with being in love. Love should be rare and hard to find, not around every corner.
  6. You always end up dating your friends. When you make friends of the male variety, you should look at them as any other friend — that is, in a platonic manner. Keep your friends as your friends, and date outside your circle. Trust me, not only is it good to meet new people, but it will also save your group a lot of drama. 
  7. You’ve never been single. If you can’t remember a time past the age of 16 when you were single, that’s a problem. High school sweethearts are cute, but finding true love in grade school is rare. Having single time in your adult life helps you define your own identity, and it’s an experience every woman should have.
  8. You fight for relationships that don’t work. If you’re fighting to stay in a relationship despite the fact that you’re not happy, there’s something wrong. Your relationship should make you feel better about yourself, not worse. Would you really rather be in a relationship that makes you miserable than on your own?

Being alone can sound scary, but being single can be a blast. It’s a time to be selfish in the best way. Put yourself first, pursue your dreams, and fulfill your wants and needs. Learn how to be your own person rather than just a half of a whole. After all, how can you ever consider yourself an independent woman if you’re always leaning on someone else?

Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.