11 Surprising Types Of Toxic Guys You Never See Coming

You don’t have to be knee-deep in a relationship with a guy before discovering that he’s toxic. There are some early signs to watch out for, and sometimes they can be surprising. Here are 11 toxic guys you might not think of as being bad for you but they really are. You’ve been warned!

  1. The guy who’s too nice He smiles and says “no problem” when you cancel your date at the last minute. He’s always kind and sweet and says all the right things, but it feels like he’s putting on an act. Guess what? He is! He’s hoping that by being super nice all the time, he’ll get you where he wants you. Come on, no one can laugh and smile all the freaking time!
  2. The guy who calls himself a feminist It might sound refreshing to hear a guy call himself a feminist, but be careful that he’s not just using that to try to make you swoon over him. He could be a star manipulator who’s trying too hard to be the perfect guy because he knows how many shady, sexist guys are out there. It’s sad how “feminist” has become the trendy label for guys to use on women to make a good impression on them. That’s actually sexist, FFS!
  3. The love bomber. At first, the way he showers you with gifts and attention doesn’t seem like he’s love bombing you, but he’s slathering on the charm to get you where he wants you – usually in his bed. The love bomber isn’t the type of guy who paces himself before a relationship. He rushes right in, and that’s shady.
  4. The guy who advertises himself He tells you he’s a great friend, a responsible guy, and a really loyal boyfriend. If he really were all those things, he wouldn’t have to tell you because he could show you with his actions. Beware of the guy who tries to sell himself to you because he’s often a big fat liar.
  5. The guy who calls you “the one that got away” Sometimes an ex who still loves you will tell you that you’re the one who got away in a genuine way, but often it’s a cheap shot to make you feel guilty for breaking up with him and/or to try to get you to feel romantic things for him again. Remember: if he’s the one who pushed you away and saying you “got away,” he’s an a-hole.
  6. The guy who comes back when the credits roll Just when you’re fed up with a guy’s antics and decide to move on once and for all, he comes back with a bang. He’s suddenly the most amazing potential boyfriend ever. WTF? He’s totally playing with you, keeping you on his stupid yo-yo so he can swing you into his life and out of it when it’s convenient for him. You can guarantee that once the dust settles, he’ll resort back to his bad behavior.
  7. The micro-cheater A cheater sometimes starts small. He might do little things that are signs of larger future betrayal. Be careful of the guy who does things like charm women in what appears to be nothing more than a friendly manner, the guy who’s emotionally intimate with female friends, and the guy who’s secretive.
  8. The guy who puts a verbal knife in your back If you have mutual friends with the guy you’ve started dating, it’s good to find out what he’s saying about you when you’re not around. One of the most toxic guys out there is the one who makes you feel like a queen when he’s in your presence but then trash talks you when you’re not there.
  9. The guy you feel sorry for If you find yourself thinking that the guy you’re dating is a great guy but he’s just had bad experiences, make sure you’re not falling into a trap. The guy who acts like everyone’s to blame for his messed up life, who’s always moaning about something, and calls himself “sensitive” when really he’s the a-hole who goes around hurting others, is not to be pitied. He’s to be dumped because he’ll never change and you’ll have to keep bailing him out of his drama.
  10. The guy who needs you too much It feels amazing to be needed by the new guy you’re dating, but there’s a guy who needs you and then there’s a guy who’s way too needy. If he’s calling you all the time, can’t make decisions without first running them past you, or he gets angry when you’re not available to him because you have a life, he’s toxic AF.
  11. The mansplainer You might roll your eyes and laugh when the new guy you’re dating keeps mansplaining. You might even think it’s cute. Um, no. It’s annoying and just going to get worse as he gets to know you better. A mansplainer is self-righteous, full of himself, and doesn’t take your opinions and intelligence into account. Loser.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.