Surviving life as a single girl is hard as hell, especially if you’re looking for a real, long-term relationship with guys who would probably prefer to keep things super casual. You’re sure there’s someone out there for you who wants the same things, but all the crap you have to go through to find him can be brutal. Here’s how to survive hookup culture when you’re a relationship girl:
Don’t drunk dial. One of the most dangerous traps that we get ourselves into is drunk dialing people just for a hookup. If you’re trying to avoid those one-night stands or casual hookups, then you either need to cut back on the alcohol or have a friend physically remove your phone from your hands when you’re drunk. You’ll thank them in the morning.
Stop looking for love in all the wrong places. While it’s not impossible to meet the love of your life through a dating app, the chances of finding him on Tinder are pretty slim. Looking for guys on hook-up apps or at the club might get you a short-term hookup buddy, you’re likely not going to find the long-term relationship you’re seeking. Obviously it’s hard to tell a guy’s whole story just by looking at him, but there are some places you just know aren’t for scoping out your future husband.
If a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, take him at face value and get out. As much as you might like him, don’t waste your time on a guy who tells you that he’s not interested in a relationship. Men aren’t trying to play hard to get when they say stuff like this, so don’t bother trying to convince him otherwise. No matter how strong the physical attraction is, you’ll never change his mind about what he wants (or doesn’t want) from love. Save yourself the time, energy, and heartbreak.
Never go home with a guy on the first date. As important as physical attraction is, having an emotional connection is even more important. The thing that matters most in a relationship is being able to connect and communicate with the other person. Don’t jump the gun and hook up with a guy on the first date just because you’re excited that there are sparks. Get to know him first — if it’s meant to be, it’ll be worth the wait.
Don’t try to convince yourself that you’re OK with casual. You want real, lasting love, and that’s OK — but don’t get so discouraged by your lack of success that you try to convince a guy or yourself that you can totally do casual, because you’ll only end up screwing yourself over. You’re better than settling, so hold out for the right guy, no matter how long it takes.
Pay attention to the signs. If you start dating a guy who tells you he wants the same things you do from a relationship, yet he’s still got an active Tinder account and refuses to call you his girlfriend even when you’ve been dating a while, then he’s using you. Actions speak louder than words, and if his don’t match up, get out of there.
Stay strong in the knowledge that you’re worth it. Just because you’ve had some bad dating experiences and don’t feel anywhere close to finding Mr. Right doesn’t mean you should give up or question your self-worth. You’re an amazing woman, and it’ll take an equally amazing guy to match you, and that takes time to find.
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