I can open the door for myself, I can unclog my own drain, and I can change a tire. I can do anything I set my mind to and I do on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean I don’t want a guy to take care of me sometimes. What’s wrong with that?
Just because I’m a feminist doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the company of men. Although feminism is dear to my heart and a topic that needs more attention, I feel like the progress has taken a rather bitter turn. Instead of it being about equal rights, I feel that some women have made it about us versus men. Don’t get me wrong—I want to be equal to men socially, politically, and economically. However, I think we should be working together rather than apart. I believe wholeheartedly that women are the superior sex, but as a team, men and women could be unstoppable.
I Try To Be A Lady. I don’t always cross my legs and sometimes, I forget to put on deodorant. It happens. I don’t always act like a lady but that doesn’t mean I don’t want or deserve to be treated like one. I like when a guy pays for my dinner, when he reaches for something I’m too short to get, or when he opens the door for me. I want to be romanced, to be wined and dined. Call me old fashioned but I enjoy being spoiled.
Old-school chivalry may be dead but it shouldn’t be. Chivalry is not the same as it was when your grandpa bought your grandma a milkshake, at the local diner. Today, chivalry is “liking” your selfie on Instagram, texting you first, or if your crush swipes “right.” Social media and dating apps have kidnapped romance from our dating lives. We don’t expect the classic gentlemanly acts because the progression of society has made room for new “gentlemanly” acts. I say bring back the classics and hold my hand in public.
I Want Respect And That’s Reflected In How A Guy Treats Me. Again, call me old-fashioned but I believe that how you allow a man to treat you reflects your level of self-respect (or lack thereof). I have a damn good amount of self-respect and I expect any man I’m with to have the same. How well he treats me is how much he respects me. If he doesn’t take the time to act like a gentleman then he clearly doesn’t believe I’m worth it. I won’t waste my time with someone like that.
Small Gestures Matter. I don’t want diamonds, handbags, or makeup, I want small, selfless gestures every day. I want a good morning text, a home-cooked meal, a clean apartment, and the occasional bouquet of flowers because I had a bad day. I want thoughtfulness. I can go without any gift as long as he’s taking care of me and taking care of our life together. Being a gentleman isn’t about how much money he can spend, it’s about how he shows the woman he loves that he loves her. I shouldn’t feel bad for wanting this.
There Are Things I just can’t Do. Furthermore, there are chores I don’t want to do and would happily give to my guy. I don’t want to fix a busted sewer pipe or climb a bunch of scaffolding to secure a shingle on the roof. There are things that a man can do better, regardless of gender roles. In my relationship, I’m superior in throwing a football and cutting the grass but my boyfriend is better at cooking and setting up technology. We complement each other’s weaknesses with our own strengths.
There’s Nothing Wrong With wanting a little extra help. I refuse to believe that I’m less of a woman or a feminist because I want to be taken care of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be romanced and pampered. That’s not to say that I can’t take care of myself or that I’m willing to offer the same in return—I can and I totally will. It’s just that sometimes, a little extra help makes my life a whole lot easier, and isn’t that one of the biggest perks of being in a relationship?
It’s no one’s business how my relationship works anyway. If I’m with a guy who wants to take care of me, why does it matter to anyone else? The details of a couple’s relationship should be between the people in it, so anyone else having an opinion on how my boyfriend treats me and vice versa needs to GTFO.
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