I Can Take Care Of Myself, But I’m Not Going To Lie And Say I Don’t Want A Boyfriend

Just because I’m happily single doesn’t mean I want to stay that way forever. While I’ve created a life that brings me purpose and meaning, there are still a lot of things I want to experience in my life, and that includes having a real relationship. I don’t want to be my own boyfriend, I want an actual one and there’s no shame in that.

  1. I won’t miss the single girl life. I’ve watched TV to my heart’s content, I’ve swapped dating tales with my best friends and I’ve celebrated my achievements. I’ve done it all without a partner by my side and while I don’t regret my time spent on my own, I still want someone standing next to me in the future. I won’t miss the single girl life and that’s okay.
  2. I want to fix all of my past dating mistakes. Dating is like a practice run for the real thing: falling in love and staying that way. I want to live out my very own love story and I want to fix the mistakes that I’ve made in the past. There has to be a reason for all the ghosting, failed almost relationships, and missed opportunities, right?
  3. I’m crystal clear about the love I want. I know who I want to be with — now I just have to meet him. From personality traits to values to hopes and dreams, it’s right there in my brain. Since I’m confident I’m going to know the right person when I meet them, I don’t think there’s any reason for me to stay forever single.
  4. I’m not naive — being solo isn’t always the best thing ever. Sure, I can agree with the fact that being single gives me more time to focus on my career and that sometimes, it seems much simpler. I don’t agree with the idea that being single is the greatest (at least not for me). While I can do anything on my own, from checking out a new cafe or restaurant to traveling or taking up a new hobby, these things would be much more fun and meaningful if I had a boyfriend to share them with.
  5. I see real relationships all around me. Being on my own is much better than dating a loser or staying in a relationship that isn’t right. Being on my own isn’t better than being in the right relationship. I see real relationships all around me and lots of my friends are happily coupled up. That fuels me to keep dating and keep trying to find someone that is the perfect fit for me, too.
  6. I’m not getting any younger. Just because I’m not freaking out about my biological clock or feeling like an old spinster doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize that at 27, it’s definitely time for me to fall in love again. It just feels like the right time for me. I’ve got everything else: an amazing career, the best friends, a secure head on my shoulders and a sense of confidence. I would love to find the right person too.
  7. I know the difference between being lonely and being alone. I’m totally content to spend a Friday night at home alone. I know what it’s like to be lonely because I’m feeling down about my love life and I know what it’s like to be alone aka simply without a partner. I’m not crying myself to sleep every night about my solo status. I just want a boyfriend and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
  8. I want more than what I have. Sometimes I catch myself looking around my one-bedroom apartment, thinking that while I love living here and I have everything I’ve ever wanted, something is still missing. There is more out there and for me, that’s a relationship. I’m not going to stop until I find that.
  9. If I gave up on love, I would always regret it. I don’t wish that I had been in one half of a couple all this time — I’ve needed the time and space to figure myself and my life out. If I gave up on love, I would wish that I had tried harder. I would definitely regret losing faith in myself and my ability to find a partner.
  10. I don’t see any reason why I can’t find a boyfriend. At the end of the day, I’m proud of who I am and have worked hard to get here. There’s really no reason why I can’t find a boyfriend. The only way I wouldn’t is if I stop believing in myself. So no matter how cheesy that sounds, I’m going to keep at it. My search for love is only going to fail if I let it — and that’s not happening anytime soon.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.