Take No Crap, And 9 Other Game-Changing Dating Tips From My Guy Friends

Once in a while, I like to get the male perspective on dating. I’m lucky enough to have a super tight group of dude friends I can confide in, and over the years they’ve given me some awesome tidbits of advice to consider when I get a new boyfriend. Although my guy friends are the biggest goofs I know, they’ve genuinely surprised me with some of their wise advice.

  1. Make expectations clear in the beginning. I’ve definitely gone into several relationships under the assumption that the guy I was dating wanted the same things that I did. I’m not a mind reader and neither are the guys I date, so it’s always a good idea to put everything out on the table in the very beginning. I like a guy who knows what he wants and, according to my dude friends, most guys reciprocate that feeling.
  2. Take no crap. In the past, when a guy wasn’t texting me back or suddenly went dark on me when I thought a relationship was just heating up, I’d text my guy friends and ask where I was going wrong. They typically all came back with the same answer: absolutely nothing. A guy that isn’t interested enough from the very beginning to even maintain a texting conversation isn’t going to be great boyfriend material in the long run. My guy friend’s advice? Cut and run.
  3. Introduce the new boyfriend to the friend group ASAP. Surprisingly, my guy friends are typically just as interested in meeting my new boyfriends as my girls are. My dude friends agree that if a new boyfriend isn’t willing to introduce me to his group of friends, or if he has no interest in meeting mine, he’s not worth my time. Any guy worth keeping around should be happy to show me off to his friends, and he should care enough about me to want to make a good impression on my pals too.
  4. Never be ashamed of my inner dork. I’ll admit it, I’ve tried to play the “cool girl” on more than one occasion. My guy friends have openly laughed at my stories recounting past dates and my pathetic attempts to come off as easy going and chill. The fact is, I’m kind of awkward, I’m the furthest thing from cool, and I have the special edition of “Lord of The Rings” in plain view in my living room. I’m not, nor will I ever be, the cool girl, and my guy friends have assured me that pretending to be one will only backfire after a few dates.
  5. Believe the compliments. I’m totally guilty of shutting down compliments from all directions, and I know lots of other women do it too. For some reason, I get apologetic and embarrassed when someone gives me a genuine compliment, and I come off as ungrateful. My guy friends told me to put myself in their shoes. What if I complimented them on their hair or reaching a milestone at work and they got all shy and weird about it? I agreed that a scenario like that would be totally odd coming from a man and it changed my perspective on receiving compliments. If a guy is taking the time to acknowledge my strengths, I need to believe it’s genuine.
  6. Seriously, stop stressing about makeup. I love makeup. Sitting down and trying new beauty techniques is almost therapeutic to me. That being said, my favorite part of the day is wiping it all off and crawling into bed clean and fresh-faced. The first sleepover with a guy is always a little awkward because that means, for the first time, a guy is about to see my natural face without the contour and the perfect eyebrows. Letting a guy see my naked face for the first time leaves me feeling a little bit exposed and vulnerable. My guy friends have assured me that they aren’t blind, they can see a difference between a woman who’s wearing makeup and a woman that isn’t, but it shouldn’t’ matter. If a guy is into me, he won’t care if I’m going au naturale or total cake face.
  7. Only a man-child gets weird about periods. A bodily function that a woman can’t control shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Sadly, years of crappy health classes in my youth and totally non-communicative parents have made periods a touchy subject for me. My guy friends have told me that most guys don’t appreciate hearing the gory details, but any guy that can’t pick up a box of tampons for his lady is a total wuss.
  8. Don’t be afraid to initiate sex, whenever. My guy friends don’t open up to me about issues in their own relationships very often, but when they do, the topic is usually centered around sex. Believe it or not, men get super self-conscious about their bodies and their performance in bed too and having a girl initiate the intimacy once in a while is a huge confidence boost.
  9. Recognize when it’s time to stop fighting for a guy. I’m not needy and I’m not annoying, but I’ve been accused of being both in the past just because I expect a certain level of attention from my guy. Instead of moving on, I tried to change the way I was and I ended up insecure and miserable in my relationship. My guy friends have always told me it’s important to know when to stop fighting for guys that aren’t worth fighting for.
  10. Don’t overthink it. I always roll my eyes when a guy tells me not to overthink relationships, but I begrudgingly agree with this piece of advice. Not every text is a cryptic message into a man’s past, and not every small gesture is an alternate sign. Guys are typically pretty blunt, and the ones that give a lady the runaround aren’t worth sticking around for.
Jessica is a proud Pittsburgher that loves to drink tea and adopt cats in her spare time. She is a self-proclaimed Slytherin and would like to visit Harry Potter World as soon as possible!