Opinion: Taking A Break From Dating Could Actually Backfire

Opinion: Taking A Break From Dating Could Actually Backfire ©iStock/mediaphotos

When describing dating, “exhausting” is probably the word that comes to mind first. There’s nothing more frustrating and tiring than the process of trying to find someone that you can actually tolerate, let alone actually fall in love with. Enter the concept of the dating break. We focus on ourselves, go out with our friends, and forget the hell that is a bad first date. But sometimes a dating hiatus is not what you need at all. Here’s how your dating break can seriously backfire:

  1. It can make you bitter. When you’re single and actively dating, you may hate it with all your being but you also stay optimistic. You have to or you’d never leave your apartment. When you stop dating altogether, though, you can become harsh and bitter faster than you can get addicted to the latest Netflix show. Who wants to be that negative?
  2. It can last way too long. Let’s be honest here: when we stop going on dates, we lose our desire to put on a nice outfit and brush our hair and meet a stranger for a dinner date. We think our hiatus will last a few weeks to a month, tops, and then it’s six months later and we’re still seriously single. If our big quest is to ultimately meet the right person, taking such an extended break is definitely not the way to get there.
  3. It won’t solve your problem. You have one major problem and it’s the same that every woman who’s still single is facing these days: it’s not only hard to meet people, it’s hard to meet people you like. You can swear off dates for a month and that still won’t change. The only way is to keep going on dates, no matter how much you don’t want to.
  4. It will make you fixate on your last date. Or your last failed relationship. Or your last almost relationship. Without another first date that will either be a rare love connection or another hilarious/scary story for your best friends, you’ll spend way too much time thinking about what went wrong. It’s so much better to keep moving on.
  5. It can make you commitment-phobic. It’s super easy to get into a routine with your work, your friends, your family. You start to wonder how a boyfriend could even fit into your busy schedule and you start getting super protective of your evenings and weekends. That’s totally fair, but eventually your dating break is going to make you completely afraid of committing to someone, and that’s only going to make things more difficult.
  6. It can put you in a serious rut. If you never make the effort to date, then you’re probably not going to meet any new people – unless you’re starring in a romantic comedy. Your nights will all blur into one another and soon you’ll be in a total rut, wondering why you never have any fun anymore.
  7. It will annoy others. You’re going to end up telling your friends how amazing it is to never date and soon your enthusiasm is going to turn to whining and complaining. Your friends will get annoyed fast and, honestly, you won’t be much fun to be around. Whether your BFFs are happily or unhappily single (or even coupled up), your anti-boy rants are going to seriously bum them out.
  8. It will depress you. When you decide to stop dating, it’s like you’re concluding that there’s literally no one in the world for you. That will depress you and fast. Why not keep going and let fate decide that for you?
  9. It won’t bring you love. In the end, we’re all looking for the same thing: to fall madly and deeply in love. Sounds so much simpler in theory than in reality, of course. But taking a dating break isn’t going to do much except ensure you’re super caught up on all your fave TV shows. So get back out there and go on some dates. Eventually you’ll go on a good one.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.