I was just going to take my food to go but I decided that instead, I’d take myself out on a hot date at a fancier sit-down restaurant. I acted as if it was an actual date and it was—I was dating myself. It ended up being lovely!
It was actually really nice. I was a little skeptical at first, thinking that sitting at a restaurant alone is a little weird, but ultimately it ended up being nice. I enjoyed my own company and it reminded me that I’m actually pretty awesome and not so bad to spend time with. Frankly, I’d date me.
I slowed down to be mindful of how I was feeling. Admittedly, I didn’t totally put my phone away. I took a picture of myself in the mirror and posted about my date with myself on social media. What can I say, I’m your typical millennial. Despite this, I’d still say that I took the time to be intentional and mindful. I was totally present while eating my delicious food. I gave my thoughts time to bounce around before squashing them with my phone. I did have space to just be.
I splurged. Normally I’m pretty frugal when it comes to going out to eat. I try to spend as little money as possible while also getting something decent. This night, however, I decided to splurge on myself. I spent a lot of money on a steamy bowl of ramen and I regret nothing. After all, I’m totally worth spending the extra cash. Maybe not all the time, but once in a while I totally deserve it. I can spoil myself.
I gave myself a pep talk in the mirror. I looked in the mirror and said something like, “You are a strong and independent woman who don’t need no man (or woman or anyone else). You’re going to enjoy this dinner because you’re worth the time and effort. Go get ‘em, tiger.” Sometimes you just have to give yourself the pep talks, you know? I had to remind myself why I was doing what I was doing.
I was dressed up and looked really cute. I happened to have dressed really nice that day and put makeup on, which isn’t always the case. In the past, I’ve found myself only dressing to the nines when I had a date. I didn’t take the time to do it otherwise. Lately, though, I’ve been trying to doll myself up just for me. I feel a lot better about myself when I’m wearing something that feels glamorous.
I’m learning that being single doesn’t have to mean being miserable. Sure, I can get upset over every couple I run into, comparing myself to them and feeling self-pity about being single. Or, I can embrace the fact that right now I’m alone and that’s just my reality. Happiness doesn’t just come from another person. I can manifest it from right inside of myself. I can enjoy my time being single and think about all the perks there are like more time to spend with my friends.
I need to be alone sometimes. The truth of the matter is that I could go on this date whether I’m single or seeing someone. If I’m in a relationship, I’m still going to need alone time. It’s just a need that I have as a human being, particularly one that leans towards introversion. Being alone means I have time to decompress and take a look inside of myself.
I’m getting to know myself in a deeper way. Spending time with myself in this way allows me to get to know who I really am. What am I feeling? What are my deepest hopes and dreams? What are my fears? I learn the answer to these questions when I take the time to just be with myself. It can be scary and vulnerable to sit down and look these truths in the face but it’s totally worth it.
I’m cultivating self-love. My actions are telling me that I’m worthy of love and care. Going on a date with myself is a way of planting seeds of self-love that’ll quickly blossom. Self-love is so important because at the end of the day I need to be the one to truly love myself. Other people’s love can waver or disappear, but self-love is here to stay.
I’m becoming a better partner for someone in my future. Someone who can’t sit with themselves and constantly needs someone else to make them feel OK is a sad case. Trust me, I know because I’ve been there. When I’m deeply comfortable alone, I’ll become a better partner to someone else because I won’t have too many expectations from them. I’ll have just enough without being needy or codependent.
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