Talk Is Cheap — I Want A Guy To Show Me He Loves Me By Doing These 10 Things

Despite the fact that I’m a writer (or maybe because of it), I know words can be meaningless. A guy can tell me he loves me a hundred times a day, but if he doesn’t show it by doing these things, I’ll have a hard time believing him.

  1. Asking me about my day When you ask someone about their day, especially if you know that the answer might be kinda boring or overly dramatic, it’s a big sign of love. In fact, I know when I’m truly in love because I don’t just ask about my partner’s day, I’m genuinely enthralled and even catch myself asking questions about stuff and people that make no sense to me. That’s why a guy wanting to know about my day is basically code for him being in it to win it.
  2. Being genuinely interested in my goals I would never say my goals are extraordinary because wanting to be a world-famous, awarding-winning author with three houses and two yachts really isn’t all that interesting, but, if a guy loves me, he’s going to listen to my goals—no matter how out-of-reach they may seem. Although, to be honest, they don’t seem all that out-of-reach for me.
  3. Remembering little details about me If I guy doesn’t remember my birthday, I consider that a forgivable offense. If he buys the sour pickles instead of the half sour pickles, the latter being my favorite, then we have a whole other issue on our hands. When you love someone, you show them by remembering little details about them that seem inconsequential on the surface but are actually kind of a big deal. To this day, one of the most romantic gestures of my life that I’ve ever received was when a guy called my name from the street, asking me to open the door because his arms were full of perfectly ripe avocados. I’d been unable to find perfectly ripe ones and just mentioned it in passing, and voila! There he was, two days later—he’d bought all the perfectly ripe ones for me that he could find. I would have married that one if he didn’t end up ghosting me a few weeks later.
  4. Going out of his way for me Truth be told, I’m not a very demanding person. I mean, I’d like my partner to have a job, know my name, and not cheat—you know, the basics—but if my partner goes out of his way for me in any way, that’s love. And, as someone who hates being inconvenienced, if I go out of my way for someone, then I’m clearly gone over him as well.
  5. Being truly supportive I don’t need my partner to support me financially or physically, but I do need him to support me mentally and emotionally. I want him to be there when things fall apart and I want him to want to be there when things fall apart and not feel obligated to do so. Love means genuinely giving a damn and not faking it.
  6. Helping me out without me even having to ask Loving someone means being really aware. After all, it’s in proving that he’s paying attention that he can show me that he loves me. If I’m obviously stressed with work and he brings me a glass of red wine because it’s always 5 p.m. somewhere, that’s love. Actually, that’s true love.
  7. Taking an interest in my friends and family No matter who I date, my friends and family will always come first. This is something that’s non-negotiable. Not only should my partner accept and respect this, he should really take the time to get to know them. Ideally, he should fall in love with them because they’re all the best, but I realize I can’t have everything I want in life. Still, his willingness to make an effort and give them a chance is a really big deal for me.
  8. Being honest as hell Even if it hurts like hell, to show me he loves me, I need him to be honest about everything. While what I may not know won’t hurt me, if he loves me, he’s going to show me by hurting me, if that’s how it has to be.
  9. Listening to my BS I’m at this point in my life where I spend a lot of time bitching and moaning about everything I could have done differently, questioning why I’m not the success I thought I’d be by now, and all the rest of the existential crap that comes with an early mid-life crisis. If anyone can sit through that broken record BS of mine, it doesn’t just prove he loves me but that he should totally get some sort of medal for it too.
  10. Giving me my freedom I’m difficult. I may not be needy, demanding, or even a bratty little princess, but I am a major pain in the butt. I’m outspoken, opinionated, and my free spirit and independence is something that very few men can handle. That being said, if someone can put up with me, deal with the fact that I just might go MIA on them because there’s an elephant sanctuary up in Thailand I need to get to and want to roll to solo, then that’s love. For me, allowing me to be me and remain free is the ultimate showing of love.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.