How To Tell From The First Date That He’s Got Too Much Drama

How To Tell From The First Date That He’s Got Too Much Drama ©iStock/vitapix

Drama kings are all around and you might just be going on a first date with one. Here are signs to look out for that show the guy’s got 99 problems and about to drag you into all of them:

  1. He’s “going through a rough patch.” He just lost his job. His ex-girlfriend walked out on him. He had to move into a new place… Everyone’s got problems, but if it feels like the guy’s in a really negative headspace, you’ll have to ask yourself if you’re keen to get pulled into whatever crap he’s going through. However, if he seems like a cool, stable guy in spite of his rough patch and like a positive person who’s going to deal with stuff, then that could be promising.
  2. He drinks too much. A beer or glass of wine is cool, but getting drunk on a first date is sleazy. Why does he need to drink and doesn’t he see that it’s disrespectful? Fast forward to four months’ time when you’re a couple and you fight with him for pitching up drunk to your parents’ dinner or your work function. Not fun.
  3. He talks about his ex. Talking about exes on a first date is often advised against but hey, it happens, and sometimes it can give you a good idea of who he is. For instance, if he bitches about all his exes, you have to wonder if he’s the one who was the problem in those relationships. The problem with ex talk is if your date is going on and on about his ex and still looks heartbroken when he discusses their breakup. You can’t help but think he should have had this session with a registered psychologist.
  4. He moans about everything. It’s not just the waiter who’s annoying him but he’s got beef with everything: the country, his boss, even his dog. It’s fine to share some crap you both go through and have a good laugh about it, but if it seems as though he’s addicted to complaining and really negative, it’s exhausting. He’s supposed to be putting his best foot forward here!
  5. His family should have their own reality TV show. Touching on the topic of family on a first date can give you some neat insight into the type of guy he is. If his family relationships are filled with stress — he’s fighting with his sister, he never speaks to his dad, he’s got mommy issues — that is worth giving you some pause. Would you want to deal with him based on how badly he’s speaking about his family or have to deal with them if they’re a daily serving of drama?
  6. He nitpicks constantly. Does he come across as a picky, argumentative person? Does he criticize you on the first date? Perhaps he does this in a ‘joking’ way, such as by calling you boring for being vegan and not ordering the steak, or he’s quick to judge you about your life. This is a huge warning sign that the guy loves drama and is a big jerk.
  7. He loves to gossip. He’s just met you and he’s already speaking negatively about other people or giving you TMI about their lives. Even if the anecdotes seem harmless and funny, take note of how he presents people in them. A gossip will love sharing stories about other people because he thrives on any and every kind of drama.
  8. He doesn’t shut up. Motormouths are annoying, especially on a first date. They just wanna talk all the time, often about themselves, even if they’re boring you so much that you want to throw your salad at them. Although you might think that verbal diarrhoea doesn’t mean that a guy is dramatic, it definitely means he wants to be the center of attention or that he’s a narcissist — which bring drama to the scene. If you can’t get a word in edgewise, get the check instead.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.