Telling My Friend Her Boyfriend Was Cheating Ended Our Friendship

I was out for dinner with some of my single friends when I saw my friend’s boyfriend on the other side of the restaurant. He was there with another woman and it was clear they were more than friends. I felt I had no choice to tell my friend, but I ended up wishing I hadn’t bothered.

I headed straight to my friend’s place once I realized what was happening.

I should’ve walked over to the guy and thrown a glass of red wine over his white shirt, but I’m really not the type of person to cause a scene. Besides, that’s what my friend could do once I told her this heartbreaking news. I had to get to her place ASAP, so I abruptly left dinner. I was a woman on a mission to save my friend.

I’m loyal to the end.

My friend and I had been close for many years. We’ve always had each other’s backs. I knew that if our roles had been reversed in this situation, she would’ve come to me to tell me what she’d seen and I would’ve been grateful for hearing about it from her. I didn’t think twice about telling her since I felt it’s what any good friend would do.

I spilled the beans as nicely but as frankly as I could.

 I didn’t beat around the bush. I told her that I had some bad news and it involved her relationship. We sat down in the lounge and I told her that I’d just seen him eating dinner with a woman who was clearly not his relative or friend. I also told her that they’d kissed and held hands, just like a couple.

I was expecting shock and tears.

I was ready for whatever breakdown my friend had. I knew where she stocked all the wine and chocolate in her kitchen and I planned to stay and support her for as long as she needed. Instead, she just froze over and gave me a steely stare. “What is wrong with you?” she asked me. Wait, what?

We had a huge fight.

She didn’t even seem to care that her boyfriend had just been caught kissing another woman over a romantic dinner. She was angry that I’d come over to her house to tell her such horrible news. I told her that I cared about her and wanted her to know the truth about that slime she called her boyfriend, but this just infuriated her more. She told me that I wasn’t being a friend and I should leave. WTF?

I was devastated.

I knew she’d be angry and shocked or maybe even express disbelief for what I was telling her. But she was acting like I was making this up just to upset her. She told me that I was sticking my nose in her relationship and it was completely out of line. The fact that I didn’t have any photographic evidence of what her boyfriend was doing really didn’t help, but I thought she’d trust me. We were supposed to be such good friends!

She stopped taking my calls.

After that horrible visit, she stopped talking to me for weeks. I’d check up on her on social media and see that she was still in a relationship with her cheating boyfriend. I couldn’t believe it and I felt so betrayed. This was not the way to treat a friend who really cared about her.

I started to wonder if I had actually crossed a line.

I thought back to how I’d gone to tell her that her boyfriend was cheating on her. Maybe I had seemed a little harsh, calling him slime, but I hadn’t wanted to hurt her. I truly believed she deserved better than someone who had so little respect for her. She should’ve been mad at him, not me. This really was a case of her shooting the messenger.

She only got in touch weeks later.

 I gave up trying to get in touch with her after more of my texts and calls went unanswered. But then, weeks after that, she contacted me to tell me that she was sorry. I knew what had happened and I was right: she’d caught her boyfriend cheating on her. Now she knew that I hadn’t lied and I’d been looking out for her. She expected us to jump right back into a friendship, but to be honest, it felt fake. It felt like she just wanted to be friends when it was convenient for her and I told her exactly that.

I want more from my friendships.

I’m done with fake friends. I want friendships that are honest and upfront, and that keep going through both the good and bad times. I always felt like my friend had pushed me away even though deep down she must’ve known that I was just trying to help her, but I didn’t deserve that treatment. I know she went through hell when she heard my horrible news, but hey, she should’ve cared about me instead of pushing me away. Meanwhile, she kept the nasty toxic guy around instead of me! It’s insane and completely unfair. Whatever happened to women supporting each other?

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