10 Thoughts That Go Through An Anxious Person’s Head When They Start To Fall In Love

10 Thoughts That Go Through An Anxious Person’s Head When They Start To Fall In Love ©iStock/SrdjanPav

Having anxiety affects just about every area of your life, but it’s especially noticeable when you start dating someone you really like. When you’re anxious by nature, these are some of the irrational (but very convincing) thoughts that cross your mind when you start getting feelings for someone new:

  1. He didn’t text me back, so he must be over it. As an anxious person, you can pretty much win a gold medal in assuming the worst. So when you send him a cute link or a funny meme and get zilch in return, you freak out. You feel like you’re bugging him and begin to convince yourself that he isn’t into you anymore, despite having no evidence to prove it.
  2. I’m probably just a rebound. No one wants to be the rebound girl. It’s one of the biggest dating burns in the book and often leaves you feeling used and worthless. Always the doubter, an anxious person can’t help but wonder, “Am I just a rebound from his last girl?”
  3. Does he feel the same way? Just because you’re falling for someone doesn’t always mean he’s feeling the same about you. One of the worst feelings is catching feelings for a guy only to realize he’s not reciprocating. Even if he’s giving off all the vibes that suggest he likes you just as much as you like him, your anxious mind will often assume that you’re the only one in the equation who’s actually into this.
  4. I’m being needy AF. When you’ve got those falling-for-you butterflies, it’s hard to draw the line between being needy and being normal. You’re thinking about him all the time, so naturally you get the urge to text him… a lot. There’s nothing wrong with that, but of course right before you press send, you begin to second-guess yourself.
  5. How many other girls is he talking to? Being replaced is a constant worry for any anxious person. So when you see that he’s out hanging out with his girlfriends, you wonder if they really are just friends. The best way to approach these thoughts is to remember that your are awesome AF, so you shouldn’t be worried about someone else stealing the show.
  6. I’m totally going to get my heart broken. It’s scary putting your feelings in the hands of someone else, and it’s even worse if you’re regularly anxious. Even when things are going well, your mind tends to convince you that you’re just headed for disaster.
  7. What if we’re not sexually compatible? If you feel yourself falling for someone and have yet to get down to business, you’ll start to worry how it’s going to be once you do. We all know how much it sucks to sleep with someone we have no chemistry with, so when you’re anxious, it’s not uncommon for that thought to completely consume you until you’ve slept together for the first time.
  8. Does he have the same goals as me? It’s easy to get ahead of yourself if you’re anxious. When you start to fall for a guy, you can’t help but worry about the future. Does he have the same goals and outlook on life as you? It may be way too early to have that convo, but of course, it’s never too early for you to start worrying about it.
  9. I should end it before he does. Letting your guard down is never easy, especially if you don’t know how he feels about you. Your natural instinct might be to cut ties before he does, simply because it makes you feel safer. You may regret it down the road, but in the moment, all you can think about is protecting yourself.
  10. He’s being so nice to me. He must want something. If you’ve been burned before, you begin to question even the best intentions. The truth is, some people are just nice. Just because someone is treating you right, it doesn’t mean they’re trying to get something out of you. Your anxiety will tell you otherwise, of course, and it’s not always easy to drown out the voice in your head telling you that you’re being manipulated.
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.